One of my friends recently committed suicide. I didn't even know that she was that upset! I feel like such a terrible person! Why didn't I know? I am so depressed and completely devastated.

How can I go on with my life without being so sad and constantly blaming myself?'

It is so sad when a young person decides to take his or her life. This is such a tragic event and I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, sometimes when a person decides to end his/her life, there is no warning. There is also no right or wrong way to feel. But please remember, you are not a terrible person.

Even though you feel guilty, this is not your fault. You did not do this to your friend—she made the decision alone. You are still alive and I’m positive she would want you to live your life to the fullest.

Feeling depressed after losing a loved one is a part of the grieving process. It may help to talk to your parents, school counselor, or another trusted adult about how you feel and what you’re going through. You do not have to deal with this on your own. If you continue to feel depressed, then you should seriously consider professional help, such as grief counseling, or join a suicide survivor support group. It can help to talk to other people who are experiencing the same emotions as you.

It is also important to remember you are not alone. Seek support from other friends by sharing happy memories of your friend. If it helps, make a collage of your best memories with your friend, include your favorite photos, lyrics to your favorite songs, and other cool stuff to help you remember her forever. You could also try writing a poem or a letter to your friend, expressing all of your emotions and thoughts.

Healing takes time, and you may never get the answers you’re looking for. When you’re finally able to forgive your friend and yourself, you’ll feel so much better.

12/23/2009 7:00:00 AM