LIFE

My friend's brother recently committed suicide. He was a great guy and it came as such a surprise when it happened. My pal seems to be dealing with it well, but it's almost like she doesn't believe it happened. I've been to their house since then and it's almost like he just left for college.

Also, it doesn't seem like she has trouble talking about him. My other BFFs and I are surprised about that because it's so hard for us to talk about it. I can't imagine that she's not impacted by this.

What can I do to help her? She knows she can talk to us about it if she wants to, but she hasn't. We haven't brought it up once, but she seems fine with sharing memories of him and saying his name. Is this normal?

Hey girl, I'm so sorry this is happened to your friend. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it sounds like she's really lucky to have BFFs like you around who care about her so much.

It's hard to tell how someone deals with a loss like this. In person she might seem like she's doing well, but you never know how she's grieving alone. It's great that she's open to sharing memories. It might seem weird that she's talking about it a lot, but that's prob just her way of coping. Let her know that you'll always be there to listen and encourage her to keep talking to her family and a counselor about how she's feeling.

I'm sure she's relying on you to be a big comfort right now. Besides being there for her, show her that you care by crafting up a cute card, baking a batch of her fave brownies or having a sleepover with her fave flicks. Anything that'll ease the pain is sure to help your girl out.

Sure, it's more traumatizing for your friend who lost her brother, but it's also a little scary and confusing for you, too. I'm sure you have lots of unanswered questions. So if you feel like you need help, don't be afraid to talk it out with a guidance counselor.

10/13/2009 7:00:00 AM