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5 ways to rebuild your confidence after rejection

Whether you're running for VP of your school club, applying to your dream college, asking your crush out or making new friends, rejection can come at you from every which way. The good news? Facing rejection usually means you're putting yourself out there and trying new things, which is one of the best parts of growing up! If you never feel rejection, it means you never venture out of your comfort zone.

It's natural that you may be feeling down on yourself after hearing that "no". However, you can't bat a thousand, so it's important to try your best to focus on what you *do* have. Also, not everything or everyone is right for you, so often rejection is a way to place you somewhere you're valued and fit well. While it's important to let yourself feel those negative emotions and validate them, here are some ways to pick yourself back up afterwards and feel your power again.

Write yourself a love letter

The most important thing to remember when you're rejected is that it doesn't have to damage your self-worth. When you're rejected from a job or club position, it means you weren't the best fit, not that you aren't smart or qualified. For this reason, reminding yourself of all your *best* qualities is one of the best and quickest ways to rebuild your confidence. Plus, you can turn these into affirmations.

Even if all you have energy for is your notes app, get started on typing out everything you love about yourself! If you're looking for inspo to get started, you could write about things your loved ones compliment you on and some of your achievements at school or work. Reading through old birthday cards and notes from friends is also a great reminder of how cool you are. Seeing all these lovely things about you on paper will give you the ultimate confidence boost.

Journal out your insecurities

Another important part of coping with rejection is making sure you get out all of your sadness and frustration. Writing down your feelings can help you validate them and move on from them easier instead of trying to ignore them or letting them dominate your thoughts. Chances are, you'll stumble upon these notes later and wonder what you were thinking!

It's natural after facing rejection to have negative thoughts about yourself swirling through your brain. For this reason, seeing them written out and comparing them to your love letter can also show you that many of those things are not true.

Redirect your energy

After checking in with your feelings and reminding yourself why you're the best ever, it's time to focus your energy on something else. If you lost your school club election, for example, think about some other clubs and hobbies that you enjoy.

This could be anything from going on a hot girl walk, doing your fave workout, reading a new book or starting that crochet project you've been obsessing over. Who knows, you may have just as much fun elsewhere! Some quality *you time* is one of the most special things you can do to care for yourself when you're feeling down. 

Spend time with friends and family

Especially when your crush says no to a date or a friendship starts fizzling out, being grateful for the relationships you do have is sooo important. You likely have people lining up to spend time with you and you don't even know it because you're stuck in wallow mode (and we get it, we've been there, too).

But why obsess over one person when you can have coffee with your mom, invite a new friend to a workout class or have a movie night with one of your besties? Chances are they will really appreciate the quality time and help you focus on the people that you love. You also get to have fun with your faves along the way.


@niasioux

Take yourself on a date

We've probably all seen the trendy take-yourself-on-a-date vids of people visiting fancy restaurants and coffee shops alone. But in all seriousness, treating yourself is another great way to feel the self-love. If a crush or a friend said no to your plans, go anyway and make it a fun solo event! At the end of the day, the person you spend the most time with is yourself, so why wouldn't you do your favorite things with them.

@alainelimjoco beauty & empowerment in being able to spend time with yourself #selflove #solodate #japan ♬ original sound - Juswa - user82383479098

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by Madelyn Willoughby | 10/24/2024
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