LIFE

Lately one of my best friends has been not able to go places after school and stuff. Recently she told me it's because her mom has throat cancer. She's starting chemotherapy soon and she might even have to get her voice box removed. I feel really bad for her and I have no idea what to do.

 
-Worried BF

It's really rough to know what to do in these kind of situations. You're really unsure what to do and your friend is even more unsure. Her life is being flipped upside down right now and the best thing you can do is to be there for her. People approach things like this in two ways: talking about it and not talking about it. For those who do talk about it, it's a way of trying to accept this major thing in their lives and trying to come to terms with it. They'll never be ok, but having people around who can understand is a major help. Those who don't like to talk about it are usually a little more confused. They don't understand why this is happening to them and their family and because they don't understand, no one else can either. She feels like it's happening to her, not you, and might be a bit angry when you try to bring it up.
 
Let your friend know that how ever she choses to deal with this, you're there for her. If she wants someone to talk to about, if she wants someone to hang out with and not talk about it, whatever it is that she needs - you're there. Get your family involved as well. Find out they need help once in a while driving the mom to her chemo treatments, or even offer to make meals for the family a couple days a week. It's the little outreaches that people really appreciate. Also, do a little research on the kind of cancer that's affecting her mom. That way, you'll be prepared if something big happens in the future.

 
-Alli 

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5/27/2008 6:50:00 AM