Tough Stuff

My BFF used to cut

My best friend cut herself. She told me, and I convinced her to tell her psychologist. They talked it out and now she's fine.

For five months I've been the only one who knows about what she did. A week ago she told our friend, who told her former friends. Now they make fun of her behind her back. I keep trying to make them stop. When I tell them it was one time and I got her to stop, they don't believe me.

I know she has problems because her mom is really horrible to her. That's why she cut herself. That leads me to my next question, "Who do I go to for help when her mom does this?" My parents would tell her mom and make it worse for my friend. Help! I need to help my friend, but I don't think grown-ups understand!

Hey girl!

This is tough because it's a touchy thing going on between your friend and your mom. It’s great that you got her to stop cutting herself and she’s been fine for the past five months. You’re also an awesome friend for sticking up for her.

Have a heart-to-heart

Make sure she always knows you are there for her, whether she needs advice or just wants to vent. Let her know you're worried about her and see how she responds. Tell her that you're always there to listen to her issues, but encourage her to get professional help if her mom is still causing problems. Yes, it might be dramatic if someone speaks to her mom, but in the end, this is all for the greater good. If your pal's parent is treating her badly, a pro can set her up in a safer place or give her the tools she needs to deal.

Dealing with mean girls

Cutting is a super, super serious issue, and the fact that your friends are talking about your girl behind her back? So not cool. Handle the haters by ignoring them. Each time they try to act snappy about your friend's problem either walk away or change the subject. Another thing to consider: If these girls are acting so rude, do you really want to stay pals with THEM? I would probably find chicas who are sensitive and a bit more understanding to chill with.

I'll be there for you...

Once again, the biggest thing through all of this is to just be there for your girl. Let her know you'll be a text, AIM or phone call away the next time she's tempted to do something dangerous. Stress that you love her just the way she is; and you would never judge her. Distract her and boost her confidence by joining new after-school activities or throwing a fun sleepover for just the two of you (another excuse for her to get out of the house, too).

You're a great friend to be so concerned about your chica. Keep up the great work and good luck!


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3/2/2010 7:00:00 AM