Tough Stuff

Coming out confusion

I'm bisexual. I want to come out, but I don't know how or when or where. I'm only 13 and I'm afraid people will say I don't know what I'm talking about.

I also don't want to lose any friends or have their opinions of me change. Sometimes I feel so lost. Please help me.

Hey girl,

What a tough situation! I can only imagine how difficult it must be to come, scary and image-altering! Good for you for sticking to it, though. Kudos to you for being confident in who you are.

I have to admit, I’m not sure of what the best way—when, or where—to come out is. But I do know that your closest friends will accept you for the real you—and probably appreciate that they know the REAL you, now! It's up to you if you want to come up to your friends or family first. A good idea might be to write everyone a letter so that they can read it on their own time. Start off by thanking the person for supporting and loving you. Then, come out and say that you're proud of who you are no matter what and hope that this doesn't change their opinion of you as the BFF who makes them laugh 24/7 or the smart daughter who always lends a helping hand.

Your true friends will be totally fine with who you are. And if they're not, it's sad to say but you gotta find a group that accepts you for who you are. Will some people talk badly about you? Yeah, there might be some peeps who say a mean thing or two. Just ignore them and think of how immature and ignorant they sound. The upside? Coming out may also gain you NEW pals who are bisexual or gay. Scoring new friends who are going through the same things will be a total relief...they'll know just what you're dealing with, so they'll have plenty of advice and insight into how to handle tough stuff. 

If people think you don’t know what you’re talking about, stay strong! There’s also no saying that you won’t change as you get older—and that’s OK, as long as you’re always honest with yourself and with the people who are closest to you. Whether you change or stay the same, just remember, the most important thing is being yourself...and having confidence that you're a great, smart, beautiful girl no matter what.

Good luck, girlie! Be true to yourself.

~Katie P.

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8/25/2009 7:00:00 AM