The shy girl's guide to flirting

Talking to your crush is hard—everybody knows that. 

But for shy girls? It's a whole different ballgame. Talking to normal, non-crushes can be a challenge for introverted girlies, so how are you expected to talk to the one person you *actually* like? Let alone flirt with them?

Not to fear, shy gals! We've rounded up all the tips you need to make those flirty convos with your crush happen. And FYI: It's a lot easier than you think. 

Wear something you feel confident in

Dress to impress...yourself! Instead of scouring your closet for a fit you think your crush might like, stick to whatever makes you feel the most cute and confident. Vogue contributor Katherine Bernard seconds this notion, noting how women across different walks of life select certain pieces in their wardrobe because they feel stronger wearing them.

You are what you eat? More like you are what you wear. If you have a pair of cute kicks you never leave home without, don't change into a pair of uncomfy sandals just because you think your crush will like them—you'll just end up more nervous (and probs more blistered) than you would in your fave shoes. 

Ask thought-provoking questions

OK, we're not saying that you have to act like a walking icebreaker (we recommend avoiding that, tbh), but having a couple of fun, get-to-know-you questions in your back pocket for when the convo gets stiff can be a secret shy girl weapon. 

Especially if you want to keep the convo going over text, asking your crush thought-provoking Q's every once in a while can be a great way to keep the fresh topics flowing. Having a difficult time thinking up questions? Ask yourself what you actually want to know about the person. Do they have a favorite clothing brand? Who inspires them? The card game We Are Not Really Strangers offers up some unique picks you may not have thought of. 

Find common interests

If you're more introverted, you may be unlikely to join a convo unless you're *super* interested in the topic of conversation. Our tip? Talk about your interests. If you hear that your crush has the same obsession with Outer Banks that you do, make sure to bring that up if you see them! Odds are, you'll both feel more comfortable. 

Even if you think you and your crush have absolutely *nothing* in common, you can probably share a few interests. Did you spot them at the supermarket? Ask them about their favorite foods. Did you meet in biology? Complain about the workload together. (Misery loves company after all!)

Hang out with your crush in groups

If you and your crush aren't super close, try organizing a group hangout first by connecting with mutual friends. Do you both have friends on the soccer team? Invite them all to a movie night, crush included. In a large group of people, convos happen more naturally.

Flirting also becomes easier because the spotlight isn't on you during a group hang. Feel free to comment on your crush's cute hair or sick style—nobody's gonna be watching. 

Offer up an activity date

If deep conversations aren't your forte, invite your crush to do something with you instead. That could mean challenging them to a game of pickleball, going shopping at the mall or even just running a few errands together! By having an activity at the center of your attention, there's always something to talk about. 

If this is your first date with a potential bae, we highly recommend this tactic. Instead of feeling awk at a fancy dinner, keep it casual by shooting some hoops or having a board game tournament. Bc honestly, competition is the *ultimate* flirting technique. 

Have more crush Q's? Ask us anything on Threads @girlslifemag!

Top and slider image: @jennyhan


by Laila Mayfield | 7/1/2024