Tough Stuff

HELP! My BFF's Hangin' With a Bad Crowd

I have been living overseas so I am away from my best friend. Every time I go back she seems to be the same person until last December when I went back and she was different.

I think it all started when she became friends with this one group of kids. She has gotten into bad stuff with them. She says that she feels comfortable and fits in with this group, but I'm worried about her.

I want to tell her parents but I am afraid she will get mad at me even though I know it is best for her. I am not sure what to do, I don't want her to get hurt but I also don't want her to be mad at me.

Aww, honey you’re a total sweetheart. Any girl would be absolutely lucky to have you as a friend. The fact that you’re so concerned about your friend shows you truly care about her. Just because you’re far away, doesn’t make you any less of a fab friend.

But before you go running to her parents, you’ll definitely want to talk to your friend first. Think about why you don’t like her new group of pals. Are they bad influences? Does she act like a totally different person than the girl you know and love? If so, it's time to step up and do something.

Don’t outright diss her buds. That’s the quickest way to get her to ditch you. Instead, give your friend a call, or write her an e-mail or letter so she knows that you're concerned about her. You could say, "Hey, I’m not judging your new friends or anything, but I’ve noticed you’ve been acting differently lately and I just wanted to know if you’re OK."

If she opens up, that’s great. But if not, don’t worry. Give her some time and she may just come around. Just keep reminding her that you’re there for her whenever she’s ready to talk. And if she continues to push you away, let her know your next step is talking to her parents. If you feel as though her life may be in danger, you should definitely talk to your friend’s parents because it’s entirely possible they may have no idea what’s going on.

Apologize to your friend and let her know you were only acting in her best interests. Of course, she may not forgive your right away. But once she sees how great a friend you are, you’re bound to be besties again. Best of luck, hon!

Lots of love,

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4/21/2009 7:00:00 AM