Tough Stuff

What to do when you're caught in a lie

The truth about lying? Someone always gets hurt. We've all done it. And if you haven't, you're lying. Whether it's telling your parents you've cleaned your room when you actually haven't or spreading gossip about somebody you know around school, the truth always come out eventually.

So, let's face the facts: you lied to your friend. What's next? You don't want to lose your BFF over a stupid mistake, but admitting you're wrong is also hard. In order for your bestie to ever trust you again, though, you're going to have to come clean no matter what, which can be really scary. Here are some helpful hints on how to fess up to your friend and fix the problem. 

Don't continue your lie. Once your friend confronts you about the lie, it can be tempting to extend your lie even further, to get out of this awkward sitch.  However, you will feel *so* much better once it's over and once you stop the lie in its tracks. It's extremely important that you don't get comfortable with lying, because that only leads to more problems. 

Try to imagine yourself in their shoes. Your soul sis is clearly hurt by the lie, so take a deep breathe before more excuses spill out of your mouth. Being truthful is one of the most important factors in a friendship and you're going to have to work hard to earn back her trust, no matter how big or small the problem. But, you did the right thing by being completely honest. 

Apologize. Before you do anything else, apologize. Your friend might be satisfied with just an apology and be willing to move on. Will it fix all your problems on the spot? No. You may have to apologize more than once. Try to be as sincere and genuine as possible on your first try and offer an explanation. Avoid using phrases like, "I'm sorry you took offense to that." That places blame on her. Take full blame of the situation and explain what you were thinking at the time might help them understand a little better where you were coming from. 

Give them space. After you've apologized, it's time to take a deep breath and relax. The worst is over. Your BFF will need some time to think about what you said and will find you when she's ready. There's no need to send her triple texts and six Snapchats in a row. She heard what you had to say and knows who you are as a person deep down. Your 'friends forever' relationship will bounce back, but not right away.

Have you ever been caught in a lie before? Do you have any advice for other GL girls? Let us know in the comments below! 

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by Leah Volpe | 6/30/2018