LIFE

Whether you head off to sleepaway camp or happen to switch schools, being in a place where you don't know anyone can be, well, pretty terrifying. There's the confusion about your new surroundings, the anxiety that you won't be able to connect with anyone, the worry that you'll be forever alone...the list goes on and on.

That's where we come in! Here are a few ways that you can feel better about putting yourself out there and connecting with the people in your new environment.

Start the day with positive self-talk

@justalittlebitofpositivity

One of the easiest ways to come across as more approachable to the people around you is to exude a quiet confidence—but you can't do that if your head is filled with negative self-talk. Instead of walking into a room and immediately thinking, "Everyone probably hates me" or "Do they think I look stupid?," repeat positive affirmations to yourself like, "Today is going to be a great day." Not only will you feel more relaxed, but you'll also visibly loosen up. And you're *way* more likely to make a good impression on those around you if you come off as chill instead of grumpy.

Join a club or team based around one of your interests

When you develop a close friendship with someone, chances are that you start bonding with them because you have something in common. If you actively seek out groups where everyone has a common interest, it'll be much easier to start convos and build rapport. Math's your favorite subject? Then the mathlete team can be a great place to find people you'll get along with. Or if you love chess, you'll probably easily fall into step with the chess club. When you pursue friendships with people who are somewhat similar to you, getting to know them is less likely to feel forced. 

Stop using your phone as a security blanket

@sabrinacarpenter

When we walk into a space where everyone is a stranger, our first instinct is usually to bury ourselves in our phones so we don't have to endure the awkwardness of attempting a conversation. But this isn't a good idea if you want to make friends—not many people want to approach someone who's holding their phone in front of them like a shield. So what should you do instead? For one, put your phone away (you can always doom scroll later) and be present (yes, even if it feels awk at first). Next, strike up an actual conversation with someone nearby (giving them a compliment is a great place to start!). 

Let go of your friendship stereotypes

@oliviarodrigo

If most of the friends you've made in the past all fit a very specific mold, you might assume you wouldn't get along with someone who's different from them. Even though there's nothing wrong with wanting specific kinds of friends, you should also be open-minded about getting to know different people. You never know—you could be a cheerleader who hits it off with the captain of the soccer team, or a theater kid who becomes best friends with the class valedictorian. 

One upside of being in a new place is that you get to meet people you might have never talked to otherwise—and that can be an eye-opening experience. Remember: Growth happens outside of your comfort zone!

Be patient with yourself and others

@taylorswift

Human connection is something that takes time. Even if you don't make a bunch of new friends in a single day, trust that you *will* find your people eventually. And don't be bummed if you try talking to someone and you don't totally click—just view the experience as redirection towards the people who are actually supposed to be in your life. When you find a true friend, you'll never have to second-guess where you stand with them.

For more friendship tips, make sure to follow us on Instagram @girlslifemag!

Top photo: @shayrudolph
Slider photo: @monicamarra

by Hana Tilksew | 1/26/2024