LIFE

Dear Carol,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year, and that part is fine. Now he wants to do weird things with me that I don’t want to do, but I don’t want to break up. What should I do?

- Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable,

When two people decide to hug, kiss or more, it’s supposed to feel good for both of them. It’s not one person forcing the other or coercing the other or shaming the other or scaring the other. Say, “I love being with you, but I don’t want to do what you want me to do. Please don’t ask me again.” Or you could say, “I’m not ready to take that step.” But if he’s asking you to do something that you can’t imagine ever agreeing to, you should say so. In short? You don’t have to say yes if your mind and body are saying no.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Ava and Pip and Speed of Life, which is a novel about a 14-year-old girl who writes to an advice columnist. Check out carolweston.com and follow her on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

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by GL | 8/30/2024