Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, My best friend is acting really weird"

Dear Carol,

I was worried about my closest friend. I talked to some other friends in our group, and they agreed she was acting weird. So we talked to another girl, who talked to my friend about it. My friend got really hurt—even though we just wanted to know what was going on. The other girl twisted what I said, so now my friend is mad at me and won’t talk to me. Is there any way I can stop her from leaving our friend group (and me)?

- Worried

Dear Worried,

When a best friend acts “weird,” as you put it, it’s kind to say: “Hey, you OK?” Or maybe: “You’ve seemed quiet/mad/aloof lately.” Since you talked about her instead of to her or with her, you inadvertently contributed to some of this drama. What now? Apologize. Text, or better yet, say face-to-face: “I’m sorry. I messed up. I should’ve asked you if you were OK instead of talking to the others. I meant well, but it backfired. I apologize—and I want you to know this came from a good place. We all care about you. Especially me.” If you don’t want to lose her, make this
crystal clear.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books. The first is Girltalk. The latest is Speed of Life, her novel and audiobook about a 14-year-old girl who writes to an advice columnist. Check out and follow her on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

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by GL | 6/16/2024