LIFE

Dear Carol,

A few days ago, I was hanging out with my friend and she kept taking my stuff. I kept taking it back, but I also started to cry. Then she said, “Look, this is just how I am.” She gets mad really easily, and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her. What should I do? I don’t like confrontations.

- Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

It’s lame to say, “This is just how I am.” It’s like saying, “I can’t help it, I’m mean” or “I tease people until they get upset, it’s how I roll.” It’s a shame that she’s letting herself off the hook instead of trying to be more sensitive. But I hope you can become more comfortable with being assertive. You can step up and say, “I like being your friend, but I don’t like it when you take my stuff.” Back in middle school, I always avoided confrontation, but now I speak up when I know I’m in the right. And here’s to your finding more caring friends. They’re out there.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life (about a girl who writes to an advice columnist). More at carolweston.com and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

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by GL | 12/19/2023