LIFE

Dear Carol,

My parents got divorced right before I was born, and I always lived with my mom. Last year, I turned 14 and went to live with my dad while my mom moved. Everything was great! I got along with my half-brothers and my stepmom. But when my mother got settled into her new place, I had to move back after five months of living with my dad. I'm getting picked on in this new town, and I miss where I was. I don't want my mom to think I'm choosing my dad over her, but I don't want to live in the area she's in.

- I Moved In With My Mom, But I Miss My Dad

Dear I Moved In With My Mom, But I Miss My Dad,

Navigating the complications of having divorced parents can require a lot of diplomacy to avoid hurt feelings (including your own). I'm glad you get along with both your parents. If your dad's home has a better school system (does it?), that might be your selling point. You could say: "Mom, I love you, but I was getting a better education there, and that really matters to me." It's hard for a parent to argue with that. Another thing? Be sure your dad and stepmom would be fine with having you on an ongoing basis. You can also tell your mom that you're getting picked on and prefer the other school. And tell her you will call and FaceTime and visit so she doesn't feel you're leaving her behind. You could even look into going away to school—or signing up for a camp or summer program. Many offer scholarships. If you handle all this with sensitivity (rather than shouting, Mom, I like Dad's place more!!!") you should be able to have some say in where you live.

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by GL | 4/21/2023