LIFE
Dear Carol
I'm adopted--and I want to meet my birth parents
Dear Adopted,
Please please, no more cutting, okay? Your questions are completely natural, yet it’s also understandable (albeit regrettable) that your curiosity makes your mom uncomfortable. I agree that you have every right to voice your thoughts, and I also believe your real mom is the mom who is raising you. Someday your adoptive mom may tell you more about your birth parent, but perhaps she doesn’t know much or knows of troubles that she hesitates to share. Say, “Mom, you are and will always be my mom and I love you, but please don't get upset just because I’m curious about the woman who gave me up. My questions are perfectly normal and it’s important for me to know my medical history too.” In other words, help your mom not to feel threatened. Talking to a school counselor or clergyperson may help too.
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POSTED IN problems with my parents, adopt, how to talk to parents, advice from Carol Weston