Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, I'm not sure if this counts as bullying"

Dear Carol, 

I was just wondering if this situation is considered bullying. I was hanging out with a couple friends, and we were talking about random stuff like school and music and boys. One boy came up in conversation, and one of my friends was just like, "He needs a bra," and I felt kinda bad for laughing. 

-  Is This Bullying?

Dear Is This Bullying?,

That's not bullying, but it's not nice. Bullying would be more in-his-face mocking rather than out-of-earshot gossip. But here's the thing: It's good that you felt bad. Next time, instead of laughing along, consider speaking up and saying, for instance, "Ouch, that's harsh." Or, "C'mon, he's a good guy." I guarantee you're not the only bystander who would prefer not to be mean. 

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including GirltalkSpeed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit

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by GL | 6/28/2023