LIFE

Dear Carol,

I feel like I'm drifting apart from one of my friends. Whenever we text, it gets awkward quickly. She's maturing faster than I am, while I'm trying to hang onto my youth. My other friends have had the same problem with her, and I often have to vent to them about it. She also relies on me sometimes to fix her problems. I have no idea what to do about it, and it just adds stress to my life.

- Drifting Apart

Dear Drifting Apart,

It would be weird if none of us drifted apart, right? While it's ideal to hang onto your closest friends, near and far, you want to keep making room for new friends, too—which means you can't keep being the confidante of everyone you meet along the way. What you need to decide is whether you want to stay close with this girl. It sounds like you don't. If you're OK with being less close, the next time she texts, take your time answering. Then say something like, "Yikes, that sounds really complicated. Good luck. Sorry, I can't talk now." In other words, it's not your duty to fix her life or listen to all her drama. If, despite it all, you decide you do want to stay close, then just answer her questions as honestly as you can. Say, "It seems like you're overwhelmed with your class schedule right now. Can you drop an elective?" Or, "You say you like him, but it sounds like he's pressuring you to do stuff you don't want to." Help her see things clearly without becoming her go-to for every issue. Not easy!

For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com, like her Facebook page or follow her on Instagram. To order Carol's newest book, Speed of Life, click here.

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by GL | 2/21/2023