CRUSHES

Ok. So here's the deal. I have been crushing on this guy for 2 years. I'll call him Mike. Anyways, recently, one of my guy friends told me Mike totally digs me, a lot. Now, we have this dance coming up on March 24. It's my first 'cause I'm only in seventh grade.

Well, a few of my friends have people to go with but some don't. I want to go with Mike but he doesn't seem to be taking any action. Sure, he teases me and talks to my guy friend about me (who tells me all about it). But, nothings really happening. I don't mind taking the first step.

The thing is at school, I'm known as "the quiet, smart girl that takes 8th grade math". That's how I know Mike, he's one of the 5 kids that take 8th grade math. So, if I was to ask Mike out, I would be the talk of the SCHOOL for like 2 years, until I graduate. Then, the gossip would probably go up to high school if we weren't over yet.

Now, we're not getting anywhere and I want to go to the dance with someone. Plus, these days, a lot of kids are asking each other out. Also, this is the first guy I'm crushing on that's actually in my grade (7th). One of my friends is also bragging about her BF like crazy. I've tried flipping my hair and wearing the smallest shirts the dress code allows.

But, Mike is known at school as more of a jokey teasy guy that would never crush on anyone so it would be really hard for him to take any action (ask me out or something). But I love him a whole lot. Plus, my friends and I make up names fr our crushes like "elmo" or something. I call Mike "nerds" after the candy. My other crush (which will never work because he lives in NJ and has no email or IM), I call "smarties" but thats beside the point. Anyways, I need to know how to get together with him before the dance or at least have something happen (even a small date).

He's the longest crush I've ever had besides "smarties" and I just love him. So cute. He even carpools with my mom for camp but I'm not going to camp this year. Please help me start something or get something to move between us. I'm desperate and the dance is comng up really soon. I'M GOING PSYCHO HERE! I WANT HIM TO ASK ME OUT REALLY BAD! PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE!

It sounds like even though you’re a quieter smartypants (and that’s fab) you’ve got a side of courage. It’s awesome that you don’t mind making the first move, that’s usually everyone’s problem. If you really like this kid, I would just ask him out. If you want to do it in baby steps, the first move would be to ask him to hang out over the weekend. If you have a dog, see if Mike wants to walk your pooch with you, or you could grab ice cream now that the weather is getting warmer. There are plenty of small things you could do together.

As far as the gossip goes, school is like a fishbowl, everyone is watching everyone else and there is absolutely no privacy. Basically your life becomes a spectacle. Don’t keep yourself from doing something just because you’re afraid that people will judge you. They probably will talk about you for five seconds. Something juicier and more chat worthy will happen a week later and you will be free to crush on this kid to your little heart's content.

If it seems like Mike is going to sit there like a lame duck, then it's up to you to make the move. But let me assure you, flipping your hair and wearing tiny clothes IS NOT the way to go. It only makes you look silly. The best thing you could do is focus on chatting with him whenever you see him so that you two become comfortable with having conversation with each other, that way when you finally go on your first date, there won't be awkward pauses. What you should also do is keep a big beautiful smile on your face. Smiling makes you seem more open, outgoing, and friendly. Plus...guys love a girl who isn’t self conscious or snooty. Smiling shows that your fun and it also adds radiance that no amount of make up or trendy outfit can ever add.

4/27/2009 7:00:00 AM