CRUSHES

You spend a lot of time daydreaming about your crush. You even talk about him so much your friends are getting a little annoyed. You work up the courage to finally tell him how you feel about him...only for him to say the words you hoped you'd never hear, "I like someone else."

Ugh. You understandably feel crushed and rejected. It's easy to start thinking, "What does she have that I don't have?" or, "I'm better for him than she is," imaging yourself as the equivalent of Taylor Swift in her "You Belong With Me" music video. But hold on—it's completely normal to feel upset, but you shouldn't project those feelings onto the other person your crush likes. Here's why.

You can't control your crush's feelings
In the same way that you either like someone or you don't, your crush has feelings that are beyond your control. It hurts to know that he doesn't return your feelings, but don't try to change yourself to get him to like you. Would you really want your crush to like you when you weren't acting like yourself? If your crush doesn't like the real you, it's time to move on...even though it's hard. 

The other girl did nothing wrong
The girl your crush likes did nothing except be liked by a boy. This is not her fault. Even if she likes him back and they start dating, she did nothing except like a boy—just like you did. She's not your enemy or competition, she's just another girl your crush happens to like. 

It's not that girl's fault that you feel hurt
Chances are, this girl did not start dating this boy to hurt your feelings. He liked her and she liked him back. You feel hurt because your crush likes someone who isn't you, but she did nothing to try to hurt you.

So, here's what you can do to process your feelings instead of projecting them onto the person your crush likes:

Don't take it as a personal insult 
Your crush not liking you back doesn't mean you're undateable. Everyone has their own reasons for liking someone in a romantic way. If someone doesn't view you that way, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you have to change. That person doesn't view you as a potential girlfriend for whatever reason, but you're still awesome.

Write about it
It's OK to feel upset but instead of bottling up your feelings or insulting the other girl to your friends, try writing about how you feel. It will help you get all of your thoughts and feelings out without hurting someone else.  

Focus on you + the things you love 
It might hurt to see your crush with the girl he likes, but don't focus on that. Distract yourself by focusing on yourself and the things you love. Play your favorite sport. Spend time with your friends (and talk about something other than your crush). Do the things you enjoy and you'll remember you don't need your crush to like you back in order to be happy.

What did you do to get over your last crush? Sound off below!

by Paige Sheffield | 10/25/2018