I have a big problem. Ever since my sis Kelsey went to college, my other sis Emily has been emotionally abusing me. She's always bullied me, but Erica (my oldest sis) and Kelsey would protect me. Now that Kelsey's gone, Emily directly insults me. She has this attitude like, “Well, I have self esteem issues, but I can just make my little sister's worse so mine won't look as bad.” Once when I was practicing my french horn she said, “Play that again. It sucked.” The other week we went out with my mom and we were talking about getting my hair cut and styled she said “It needs to be cut at least four inches because it's ugly.” She's 16, and I think she's too old for this. I talked to my mom and she just said to ignore it. But it's hard to ignore when the person seems to be bent on making your life miserable. Don't tell me to talk to her or spend quality time with her because now I cant even say “hi” without getting tones of attitude.'

-Rac Rules'

Hey hon,

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You do not deserve to be treated like this by your sister. It’s disrespectful and just downright mean.

Your sister’s comments seem to suggest that she may feel a little insecure about herself and is taking out her frustration on you, which is totally unfair. You’re definitely correct in assuming she may have self-esteem issues, this is typical in many issues with bullies. But this isn’t a school bully or someone on your sports team, this is your sister, which means you have to live with her and that can be hard in this type of situation.

I know you don’t feel comfortable talking directly to your sister about this, but maybe you could try talking to your mom again. Let her know “just ignoring her” isn’t working. She needs to know how you really feel so that you all can work as a family to resolve this issue.

Once you’ve talked to your mom, it’s really important you tell your sister exactly how you feel. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this alone, ask you mom to be there for support and to act as a go-between. You could say to your sister, “Your rude comments and negative attitude make me feel really miserable. I really want us to be friends, but you seem to be making it really hard.” Hopefully your sister will listen up and stop bullying you.

Sister-sister relationships are so important. If you girls can work out your problems now, then that’s even more time you can spend hanging out and being friends. Remember to take it one step at a time, and in the end, it’ll be worth it!

Best of luck,
L’Oreal

10/22/2007 10:00:25 AM