LIFE

Five years ago, Anastasia Pagonis lost her vision. But that hasn't stopped her from winning gold medals, partnering with amaze beauty brands and earning millions of fans on TikTok.

Growing up, I was obsessed with pretty normal things: playing with makeup, practicing soccer and hanging out with my friends.

Then, when I was 11, everything changed. My school nurse noticed I was having trouble reading the eye chart. My parents took me to the eye doctor and, after lots of tests, I was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease that causes vision loss. The doctors told me not to worry, though—I wouldn't lose any more of my sight.

Turns out I'd been misdiagnosed. At 14, my vision was getting way worse, so I went back for more tests. I found out I had two different eye diseases: macular degeneration and autoimmune retinopathy. Within about a week, I lost all of my usable vision. I was completely shocked.

Fast-forward to now: I'm 19. I have 2.6 million TikTok followers. I've partnered with some of my fave brands, like E.l.f. Cosmetics and Urban Decay. Oh, and I'm a Paralympic gold medalist swimmer.

I feel proud of where my journey has taken me in the past five years. But it's not about the big wins or achievements—it's about everything I've had to go through to make them happen.

I used to love soccer, but with my first diagnosis at 11, my doctor recommended that I try a sport with less contact. That's when I started swimming and fell in love with competing.

But after I lost my vision, I lost my motivation, too. I went through a depressive period where I didn't care about swimming, makeup or anything that used to make me happy.

It took me nearly a year to accept my permanent loss of sight and become determined to feel like myself again. I got back in the pool, this time working with a tapper—a coach who taps me with a long pole as I approach the wall. (Trust me, swimming right into the wall hurts.)

Soon after that, I started posting on social media about everything I was going through. It kind of felt like therapy to be so open about my experiences...and to learn I could represent people with disabilities and inspire others to feel understood and connected.

@anastasia_k_p

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♬ original sound - Anastasia Pagonis

Another big step in reclaiming my story? Rediscovering my love of makeup—without being able to see the products or how I was applying them.

Though I'd loved makeup my whole life, I had to learn how to do things in a totally different way: revamping my routine (now I first put on mascara before doing the rest of my eyes and face) and recognizing products by how they feel (I put a piece of tape or a bump dot on similarly shaped products—no one wants to learn the hard way by putting mascara on their eyebrows, trust).

I still enjoy experimenting with new makeup trends, though I made my mom promise to be brutally honest and tell me if I've totally messed up. And I rely on the employees at the beauty store to recommend new shades or give me tips on how to apply something. (The latest lesson I've learned? When I think I'm done blending...I'm not.)

I've been asked why I bother wearing makeup. After all, yes, I can't see how I look. But doing something I love—whether it's swimming, laughing with a friend or putting on makeup—makes me feel like the most beautiful version of myself. And I'm not letting my blindness take that away.

I've noticed that a lot of people expect someone who is visually impaired to look, act or be a certain way. And that is just not true. I can dress cute, I can wear makeup, I can be a professional athlete—but most of all, I can just be Anastasia.

Right now, I'm getting ready to get back into the pool after shoulder surgery last summer and start training for the Paralympics in Paris this August. When I dive in, I'll probably be wearing a full face of waterproof makeup. It makes me feel confident and powerful.

Through swimming and social media, I hope to continue breaking down stereotypes people have about visual impairments. Another goal I have is to make the beauty industry more accessible for people like me. We have a long way to go, but I'm glad I can use my voice to help spread awareness.

It took some time to find my resilience and my strength. But now, I know who I am inside and out—and that, though my journey might be unique, I really *can* do anything.

Hey, girl! Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our April/May 2024 issue. Want more? Read the print mag for free *today* when you click HERE.

Photo: Allison Storck

by Anastasia Pagonis (as told to Erin Reimel) | 6/1/2024