LIFE

Dear Carol,

I want to start by saying thank you so much for your column! You make me feel good about myself by normalizing all the weird things I’m going through. I am now in desperate need of advice. Almost a year ago, I lied to my friends, saying I had a boyfriend. I continued the lie for a few months, giving him a fake personality, life, etc. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I told them the truth. My friends were really hurt, so I said someone was blackmailing me to lie to them—continuing part of the lie. Now this has stretched so far, I don’t know what to do.

- Liar Liar

Dear Liar Liar,

I’m glad you like my column and I’m sorry you chose to lie to your friends. I get that, having gone down that rocky path, it felt easier to embellish than to come clean. But these lies have been weighing on you, and of course your friends felt hurt/confused. What to do now? Make yourself vulnerable. Say that you feel like a fool, you’ve learned from your mistakes and that, going forward, you’re going to be honest because you value them as friends. Then be honest! It’s so much easier. I hope they’ll forgive you and that you’ll forgive yourself. Resolve to make new friends during the new year (sign up for a sport or activity) and strive to be authentic. Relationships thrive on honesty, and you are good enough as you are for all sorts of people to like you and care about you.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life (about a girl who writes to an advice columnist). More at carolweston.com and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

Need friendship advice? Check out more Dear Carol below:
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💞 "Dear Carol, I feel lonely even when I'm around my friends"
💞 "Dear Carol, My BFF has totally turned on me"

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by GL | 11/18/2023