Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, Is it too soon to start dating someone new after my breakup?"

Dear Carol,

I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago, and I developed a crush on somebody else. I already know my new crush likes me, so I told him I like him and now he wants to start dating. But is it too soon? My ex-BF keeps sending me messages and wants us to get back together. I don’t want to be rude, but what can I say to get him to stop?

- Is It Too Soon?

Dear Is It Too Soon?,

Let’s hit pause: It’s only been a few days since your breakup, so take a moment to reflect, assess and, well, just be before jumping headfirst into another relationship. You can flirt with your new crush as much as you want, but take your time to decide if a) this person is a good match for you and b) if you even want to date anyone at all right now. As for your ex-BF, I don’t blame him for feeling hurt or confused, but that’s not a reason to get back together. A simple text like “You’re a great person, but my feelings changed, and I think we’re better as friends” should be enough (and if the texts are excessive, feel free to ask for space or just ignore). Bottom line: Breaking up is fine, and dating someone new is fine. Just give yourself time to figure out what’s right for you.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books. The latest is Speed of Life, about a teen girl who writes to an advice columnist. Check out for more.

Need more breakup advice? Read more Dear Carol here:
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by GL | 3/17/2024