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Are your friends too involved in your relationship? Here’s where to draw the line

We love our BFFs. They are there for *almost* everything (including our relationships): girl-talk, gushing over crushes and most importantly, confiding in them. 

However, some people have the tendency to spill too much about their relationship or a friend is a little too nosy. Either way, if you have a gut feeling that your friends are too involved in your relationship, we can tell you where to draw the line and how to do it. 


How to spot if you're oversharing

Trust your gut. When you're mid-conversation and your mind is telling you not to share something (like bae's weird habits or a seriously sentimental moment) then you probably shouldn't share. Word spreads fast, especially in high school, so take a step back before you spill!

How to know if your friends are too involved

Say something. Some people aren't meant to be forever BFFs, while others simply care for you a lot. If they're talking behind your back about your relationship, you overhear gossip or someone else that you never talked to about the situation starts talking to you about it, then it's time to have a chat. (This is also a sign of an untrustworthy "friend.")

On the other hand, your friend might care about you so much that they don't realize they're overstepping. Here are the most tell-tale signs: if they invite themselves to your hangout or third wheel frequently, ask too many personal questions and talk to your person more than they talk to you. 

How to draw the line 

First, talk to bae about your over-involved friend. If you haven't talked about it already, they might not have noticed. You should also establish boundaries with bae about what you want to keep private versus what you can with friends about your relationship. 

Second, talk your friend(s) and be open with how you're feeling. Create boundaries around what makes you comfortable and what doesn't (like staying away from unsolicited advice). The red flag is when they say they do respect your boundaries but can't admit when they're wrong.

Make sure you listen to your friends, too. If they haven't been in a relationship before (or haven't had successful ones) then they just might not understand your POV. However, if your friend continues to overstep the boundaries that you've created or they cause a rift in your relationship, it might be time to let them go. 

If you're crushing, check out this article on 5 pieces of advice every girl with a crush needs to hear rn! 

 All GIFs via GIPHY | Slider image: Melissa Askew on Unsplash

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by Allie Lijewski | 4/15/2021
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