What to do when you catch feelings for your ex...again

You're scrolling through your Snapchat memories and suddenly see all of your old selfies and cute pics with your ex. Before you know it you've been scrolling through your camera roll for hours and the next time you see your ex in the hallway you're crushing hard...again. Getting those butterflies in your stomach over a person you used to be really close to is easy, but it can also feel scary and confusing. Before you get *too* lost on relationship TikTok dreaming about your picture-perfect reunion, here are some tips to make sure that recatching feelings is healthy for you.

Are you missing them... or just missing a relationship?

We *totally* get it. You were rewatching The Kissing Booth and started missing your own Noah Flynn. Take a step back and ask yourself if you're just missing cuddles and wearing their hoodie or whether you're missing how they always knew the best way to make you laugh. Relationships are great, but you want to be in one with someone who's right for you, not just because you miss going on cute dates. If you are missing your ex's bubbly personality and kind heart, go ahead and send them that meme you know they'll like to let them know you're thinking of them.

Think about why you two broke up in the first place

Your ex might be super cute, but if they were always leaving you on read, kept canceling your plans, or just weren't putting any effort into your relationship, this person isn't worth your time.  If you were unhappy in your relationship before, you don't want to re-enter a toxic relationship. It might be time to blast "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" and block their number on your phone. 

Take some you time


Before you start playing your "Love Songs" playlist, take some time for self-care. Have a girls outing with your besties or stay in and cozy up with a face mask and that novel you've been waiting to read. You come first, and this mental health break might help you clear your head and figure out how you actually feel. 

Give yourself closure 

This comes straight from our favorite movie To All the Boy's I've Loved Before. It can be hard to move on from someone you really liked, especially if those feelings were reciprocated. If you had a bit of an abrupt or messy breakup, you might be looking for some closure. Try writing a letter to your ex about all those feelings you had for them. Getting your thoughts out on paper is a great way to stop bottling it up inside. 

When to reconsider

If your breakup was totally harmless—your friends didn't think they were cool enough, or you were scared by how much you really liked them—it's okay to think about trying again. Just remember that you don't need a relationship to be happy—know your worth!

How do you deal with catching feelings for an ex? Share your tips with us on Twitter @girlslifemag!

Looking for more crush content? We've got you covered:
💖 7 kinds of crushes we've all had
💖 Single during cuffing season? Here's how to keep from feeling lonely 
💖 How to make a Brrr Basket for your S.O.

Top image: @jayncaroline
Slider: @_harrisonlane


by Abigail Adams | 1/14/2024