LIFE

After a year spent staring at screens, we've all kind of forgotten how to, well, actually *do* IRL things. We're here to help you remember how to be your best self when it's time to re-enter the world.

While our lives during the past year probably opened new doors (like finally waving goodbye to your packed planner and giving much-needed space to self-care, family time, creative hobbies and, yeah, TikTok), none of us can deny that we've struggled a bit without all the interactions and opps we're used to.

From busy caf lunches to extracurrics to squad sleepovers, these social (and sometimes stressful) sitches made up our day-to-day...and drive-by parties and Zoom study halls just can't replace that revved-up energy.

The good news: Those times are coming back—and soon (can we let out a "Yasss"?!).

@lilia

But all that excitement can (understandably) come with some nerves. After spending so many days indoors with screens, what if you, well, forgot how to *be* IRL?

For those feeling overwhelmed about getting back into the swing of things, DW (and keep reading). Remember that this isn't about pressing rewind to the person you were before—it's about stepping into *every* sitch as the totally confident person you are.

I think I forgot how to make new friends

You and your girls have stayed tight thanks to FaceTime, group texts and sooo many walks around your neighborhood. But now that school, sports and activities are restarting, you're suddenly surrounded by loads of potential new pals. There's no doubt that adding fresh friends into the mix can expand your world (and teach you new things about yourself)...but how exactly do you branch out again?

Easy: Just bust out of your comfort zone. The team's grabbing pizza post practice? Join them. Your youth group needs someone to coordinate volunteers for the spring carwash? Raise your hand. Teach wants the class to swap lab partners? Pick the new girl who moved to your town at the height of the pandemic—it'll send the signal that you're outgoing and interested in making friends.

Of course, adding new pals doesn't mean ditching your true-blues. Rather, expanding your squad will make it even *more* solid.

I think I forgot how to focus my time

Now that the world has (cautiously, carefully) opened back up, it can be hard to resist the temptation to pursue *all* your passions full force...that is, until the constant combo of meetings, practices and homework completely wipes your sched of free time.

The solution? Bow out gracefully. Try: "I'm so sorry, I thought I was going to be able to commit the time, but my schedule is too hectic to give it my all. I'd still love to [do the job/join the team/be part of the group] when I have a bit more bandwidth."

Knowing your limits takes guts, but it'll give you breathing room to make the most of the stuff you really love. But if you find you're frequently backing out—you may need to reassess your priorities.

I think I forgot how to speak to people

It doesn't matter if you're taking a French oral exam or delivering an SGA campaign speech—after being on Zoom for so long, rating IRL can feel overwhelming for even the most polished presenter. But it doesn't have to.

While speaking success comes from plenty of practice, there are little things you can do to capture a crowd, like jumping in with a quick joke to set a relaxed tone. ("When I told my brother about this speech, he gave me some advice: 'Don't try to be too funny or too smart, just be yourself.'")

Then, work the room by making eye contact with three people (one person to your left, one in the middle and one to your right). That'll make everyone feel included, no matter the size of the group.

And it never hurts to arm yourself with a confidence-boosting talisman: We know one GL girl who always wears a power bracelet given to her by her grandma—something that reminds her she knows what she's doing...and that she's going to rock it.

I think I forgot how to overcome shyness

You're excited to finally be going to a STEM day camp over spring break...except you don't know anyone. It's time to buddy up. Breaking out of your shy-girl shell can be tough, but once you muster up the confidence to start a few convos, you can make friend connections in a snap.

Compliment your lab partner on her cool sneakers, then say something like, "So, think we can propose making liquid nitrogen ice cream to demonstrate cryogenics and phase changes?" to keep the convo going. But avoid the awkward linger: Don't wait more than three seconds to approach someone. If you do, you'll overthink it.

I think I forgot how to handle my awk

You slipped in front of your crush, fell off your chair and walked into the boys bathroom, all in one nightmare of a day. Yeah, we've been there. Learn to get past those blush-much moments by thinking RAD (that's short for recognize, amend and distract).

Here's how it works: First, recognize you feel embarrassed, and that it's no big deal. Then, amend the situation by asking yourself what you can do to stay proactive and calm. Finally, distract yourself. Laugh at your antics and know it was a blip on everyone else's busy day—something they totally won't remember in a few hours, much less tomorrow.

I think I forgot how to go after my goals

No doubt, the pandemic put a lot of dreams on delay. And with so many students looking for their shot this spring, the current competition can be downright daunting. Say you really, really want to direct a one-act play this year...but so does about half of your drama theory class. Before talking yourself out of it, remember that bravery is about being scared—and moving forward anyway.

Then, start doing your research. Should you do a classic like The Sandbox or go for a one-act interpretation of Hamlet? Whatever your goal, ask questions, study up and know the internet is your friend (there's a how-to video for just about everything—watch and learn).

And if you still don't get your dream gig? Learn from the experience. It's less about competing and comparing yourself to others, and more about the personal achievement. So give yourself major points for trying in the first place. And next time? Well, you'll be back...

Hey, girl! Just wanted to let you know that a version of this story originally ran in our April/May 2021 issue. Want more? Read the print mag for free *today* when you click HERE.

Slider image: Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
Top image: @charlidamelio
All GIFs via Giphy

by GL | 4/20/2021