LIFE

Let's be real: high school can be stressful sometimes. Between changing friend groups, constant homework and extracurriculars, it can be hard to know where you fit in and what to do next. The good news? *Everyone* has been through high school and totally gets where you're coming from. Check out this advice from real girls in their 20s about what high school was like for them and how they feel looking back on it now.

"Do what you enjoy"

Taking classes for college is definitely important, but it's okay to branch out and participate in other electives and activities that intrigue you. Take Ava M., for example. Looking back, she wished that she had taken woodworking, an elective she was really interested in, instead of enrolling in another year of her foreign language. "Make sure you know what you need to take, but don't be afraid to take those electives that you want," she suggests. "College credit can be helpful, but you don't want to burn yourself out."

Sophie E. has similar advice about following your passions. Her interest in business inspired her to run for treasurer in her school's National Honor Society and sign up for macroeconomics. Putting time and effort into the activities that she was most interested in helped Sophie score her dream internship. "I had lots of choices for classes to take and I learned it's better to take the ones you want, in subjects you like, than to just be with your friends," she advises. "It gives you a glimpse in what you want to do!"

"Relationships don't define self-worth"

Having a S.O. in high school can be special and fun—but don't let it define you or take you away from friends and activities you enjoy. "I used to think so little of myself until I was in a relationship and then I thought so much of myself when I was," Hannah L. shares. "I think society really ingrains in young girls, especially. that you need to be in a relationship to be valid and to be seen, and to validate your worth. And that's so not true." As Hannah puts it, wanting a relationship with someone is natural and human. But just be sure to remember it's okay to put yourself first and recognize how much you have to offer the world—whether you're dating someone or not. 

"Don't be embarrassed about everything"

Julia K. remembers being embarrassed and self-conscious about "just being a person." She loves acting and theatre, and dreamed of being in one of her school's shows. "I'd secretly want to do more, but I'd get up there and see my friends in the audience and be like, 'Oh, I'm just joking around,'" she recalls. "I wish I had a little more fun with that and let go a little." Try not to worry so much about what other people think and focus on what makes you happy. As Ellie O. suggests, "Don't worry so much about what's cool and what's not. Just be you and do your thing!"

"Take a minute to breathe"

When asked about her high school experience, Riley A. described the "constant stress and chaos" of balancing homework, extracurriculars, college applications and more. Now, Riley recognizes that it's okay to savor your high school years. "It's okay to step back from [all of] that for a minute and enjoy," she recommends.

Tara L. had a similar experience. "I was always really hard on myself. I was really worried about every single test and grade," she says. And while grades are important, it's definitely okay to enjoy down time with your friends and special activities. Tara notes that there are so many experiences and accomplishments waiting to happen: "It's such a longer road than you think. Take time to just enjoy high school. It is supposed to be fun!" 

"Find balance and reasonable ways to take care of yourself"

Amid all the hustle and bustle of studying, hanging with friends and attending extracurricular activities, self-care has become increasingly important. Jessie A. recommends prioritizing yourself and learning to become comfortable with that. Don't be afraid to carve out time for yourself to relax on your own—whether that's watching your fave TV show, learning a new yoga routine or whipping up a special recipe. Being kind to yourself can also include trusting your gut and instincts. "Honor what you think intuitively," Jessie advises. "If someone makes you feel that you're too much or too little, something's not right." 

"Everyone is struggling with something"

Even if they don't show it, every single person around you is going through something and facing their own challenge. "There were so many times where I felt like everyone was looking at me or everyone was judging me... I realized nobody's judging you the way that you're judging yourself," Julia shares. 

Hannah had similar advice: "Nobody is perfect. If they are pushing that they are, then they especially are not...when you're in college, it's really like 'Are you a good person?' And if you're in a friendship, it's like, 'are you gonna be there for me?' It's not about how attractive you are, it's not about how sporty you are. People truly don't care." Try remembering this advice the next time you compare yourself to people in your school.

"Believe in yourself and don't let anyone stop you if you have a dream"

Taking a chance on opportunities and putting yourself out there can be hard—we hear you. But it's important to have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Hannah remembers running for student council every year in middle school and never winning. During her senior year, she decided she wanted to run for class historian, but assumed that she wouldn't win because her opponent was a really popular student. To her surprise, Hannah won the election! "You have to put yourself out there and believe that you can. Don't count yourself out from opportunities," she advises. She suggests to "have faith in youself and be like, 'I'm qualified, I'm capable, and I'm ready to do this, and I'll do a good job at it.'" With all of this advice in hand, go ahead and reach for your dreams. You've got this!

Which piece of advice is most helpful to you? Send us a DM on Insta and let us know @girlslifemag!

by Ariane Faro | 1/28/2021