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How to get over a friend breakup

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Sometimes parting ways with a former bestie is ten times as painful as breaking up with bae! Whether you two have a massive blowout argument or drift apart over time, losing someone that used to be *super* important to you is a tough thing for anyone to go through. Friends are some of the closest people to you, and after sharing secrets and making memories together it can be tough to understand how ending a friendship will turn out for the best. However, there are ways to get through a bestie breakup and come out of the other side stronger and more confident than ever. 

Reach out to acquaintances and create new bonds

Without constant texts and Snapchats coming through from your former bestie, you can very easily start to feel lonely. When my now ex-BFF and I split, I felt like a total loser and realized that I had invested almost all of my free time in a person that I was no longer in contact with. I initially panicked and assumed that I had no friends at all, but soon decided to branch out and form friendships with girls in my class who I hadn't spent a lot of time with before. Being outgoing and open with others will naturally attract them to you, and can end up leading you to the true friendships that you deserve! If you are going through a friendship breakup, text that nice girl from math class last year and ask to grab a coffee or strike up a Facetime convo to catch up with one of your teammates that you don't know super well. Instead of wallowing in sadness, put yourself out there and don't be afraid to move on! 

Spend extra time with family 

Friends come and go, but family is forever! You can lean on your parents, siblings, aunts or uncles, cousins, grandparents- anyone in your family who you trust and who supports you. Sometimes a hug from mom or trip to get ice cream with your older sister can make a huge difference in your day and help put everything else into perspective. 

Devote some quality time to self-reflect

Being alone can be really scary. It's easy to feel like no one cares about you or all of your loved ones will forget about you if you are not constantly with them, but the ending of any relationship is a two-way street and warrants some alone time to really examine yourself. After ending a friendship, do some sincere self-reflection and consider what behaviors or actions you brought to the table that may have worsened things with your former bestie. Understanding your own mistakes and trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment can help you learn more about yourself and how to approach future friendships and relationships. Don't be too hard on yourself, though- this alone time can also include pampering yourself with a movie night or spa treatment to remind yourself that you deserve happiness and love even if your ex-BFF can no longer provide you with those things. 

Don't react out of anger 

As your bestie breakup lingers on your mind, you might be tempted to send that nasty text message or leave a voicemail, doing so will only make you feel worse in the end. Odds are your ex bestie is also struggling with the end of your relationship, so take whatever space you need to process without continuing to antagonize the situation and make it worse. Saying things in the heat of the moment that are driven by your hurt and anger are like to come back to bite you, and you don't want to say or do anything that you will regret later on. 

Leave the door open for reconciliation  

Even if you can't imagine it right now, you may want to rekindle your friendship in the future once you both have taken some time apart. In order to make that a possibility, do what you can to communicate that you may be willing to forgive later on. If a massive argument is the cause of you wanting to put an end to the relationship, check out this piece written by one of our GL girls with some great tips on how to move past it and reconcile.  

Have you gone through a friend breakup? How did you deal with it? Let us know @girlslifemag. 

by Lexi Casazza | 7/31/2020
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