LIFE

We’re all pretty used to the idea of romantic breakups. Girl meets boy, boy asks girl out, girl realizes he’s not the one for her, etc. So what’s the deal with breakups that involve our besties?

Being ghosted by your BFF is the opposite of fun. In fact, the situation is so upsetting that you probably don’t know where to start. Is something wrong? Check out these warning signs.

Her messages are MIA.

You used to wake up to the most hilarious good morning Snaps from your bestie. The two of you would message the day away and you’d go to bed knowing the fun would begin again in just eight short hours. But things have definitely become a lot less predictable. Now, instead of hearing from your BFF constantly, you’re lucky if she even responds to one of your texts. A big change in your communication routine could mean there’s been an even bigger change in your relationship.

She’s always with new friends.

It’s totally okay for our besties to spend time with other friends. However, there might be something going on if your BFF is spending *all* of her time with a new girl or group. Have you ever met them? Most besties make the effort to introduce their friends to each other. Even if it doesn’t lead to all-around friendship, doing this puts faces to names and keeps you up-to-date on who else is in your BFF’s life. How often does she talk about them? If it feels like her new friends are total strangers, there’s a chance she’s trying to separate herself from you. 

When you do hang, there’s awkwardness.

After weeks of uncertainty, your bestie finally agrees to meet you for lunch. You’re so excited! Everything’s back to normal! You tell yourself you were silly for stressing about your friendship…until you realize she finished her entire salad without saying a single word to you. When you speak, she just sort of nods her head. When you take a bite of your wrap, she focuses on her phone. You thought seeing your BFF would help you feel better, but the awkward vibes are making you do more second-guessing than you did before you placed your order. Alright, there’s trouble in paradise. How do you even begin to deal with it? 

Here's our advice on what to do when you think your bestie’s breaking up with you. 

Study the signs.

Take your time with this step. Before jumping to any scary conclusions, make sure there are confirmed reasons for your panic. Paying attention to what your bestie’s messages say and how often she sends them, how much time she’s spending with other people (and how well you know them), and what goes down when you hang out with her will tell you whether or not to be 100-percent concerned about the status of your friendship. 

Have an honest conversation.

Speak up! The only way to solve the mystery of your BFF’s bizarre behavior is to ask her about it, so meet up with her for a face-to-face talk. Voicing your worries can be intimidating, especially when you never imagined you’d have to say these things to your bestie. It’s hard to put the truth into words but doing it in person is the best move because there’s less opportunity for her to misread your messages. Also, choosing chatting over texting means she won’t be able to set your questions aside and *maybe* answer them later.

Don’t force her to stay friends with you.

Although we all try to avoid going through breakups, they still happen. And friendship is no exception. We wish your relationship with your bestie was in a better place. There was something that brought the two of you together and that very same thing could bring you together again in the future. For now, though, your BFF needs space. Putting all you’ve got into a friendship and getting nothing in return will leave you sadder and lonelier than you’d be if you gave her time to figure out her feelings. It won’t be easy, but your heart will thank you. 

Have you ever faced a bestie breakup? How did you deal?

by Megan Sawey | 7/14/2016