FUN

20. Lesson: Never ever play in an area where manure is in plain sight.

All of my friends and cousins were over, and we were playing on a hill where my family’s horses roam. I jumped into a wheelbarrow and my stepdad started pushing me down the hill. When the wheelbarrow hit a bump, I flew out and landed on the ground—face down in horse manure. (June/July ’95)

19. Lesson: Hit up the restroom before any road trip—even if you don’t need to go.

My class was on the way home from a field trip, and I really needed to go to the bathroom. Some guys were telling jokes. When I laughed, I couldn’t hold it and leaked in the bus! Now everyone calls me Niagara. (February/March ’99)

18. Lesson: When taking your dog for a walk, keep your eyes on them—always.

While taking my dog for a walk, I sat down on a bench and noticed a group of boys from my class. I was trying to act all mature, until I felt something warm on my leg. They started cracking up. My dog had mistaken my leg for a fire hydrant! (October/November ’95)

17. Lesson: Be mindful of fitting room time…and always double check that the door is locked.

I was in the dressing room trying on this cute bra with matching underwear. I guess I was in there for a pretty long time because, as I was posing in front of the mirror, a worker opened the door. I hadn’t heard him knock. The guy was totally flushed and told me someone was waiting to use the dressing room. (April/May ’02)

16. Lesson: Clear your ex from your life—in all ways possible.

My buds and I were walking past my ex’s house. As a joke, we threw rocks at his bedroom window. One rock missed and smashed into the roof, which busted. When the police came knocking at my door later, my ‘rents weren’t very happy. (October/November ’02)

15. Lesson: Sometimes it’s best not to mix business with BFs.

I was working at a local store that my boyfriend’s stepdad owned. I’d sneak on the phone at night to talk to my BF. I had to ring up a customer, so I told him I’d call him right back. When he picked up the phone, I joked, “I’m a bad girl.” But his stepdad (my boss!) answered. He handed the phone to my BF and said, “The bad girl is on the phone for you.” (February/March ’08)

14. Lesson: Choose your gym buds wisely.

I lucked out in gym and my crush was chosen to hold my feet for situps. I told him I might not do as many as I usually do because I had stomach cramps. My crush then asked if I had my period. I told him I wasn’t that mature yet. Now, whenever I see him, he asks if I’ve matured since gym class. How humiliating. (February/March ’10)

13. Lesson: No matter how sure you are of a date for a party, check in with the host the day before.

I was going to my first boy/girl party and was super excited, but my mom insisted that she meet the parents before going in. When I rang the doorbell, the host of the party came to the door in his boxers and quickly ran away. His mother then came to the door, asking why I was there. Turns out I got the date of the party wrong. It was the night before. (August/September ’10)

12. Lesson: Don’t watch horror flicks on the job.

I babysit for a family whose neighbors have a super hot guy sitter. One night, they asked if we’d be OK babysitting together. When the kids went to bed, the hottie plopped in a scary movie. I started freaking so he held my hand. One of the girls came down, saw us and asked if we were dating. The next time I babysat, the mom told me not to watch any horror films and winked. Sooo embarrassing! (August/September ’11)

11. Lesson: Always put your lady products in a separate section of the bag you’re carrying.

I was a pop star for Halloween and used a sparkly purse to carry my candy. I was on my period, so I threw some pads and tampons in there. I ran into my crush, who asked if I wanted to swap some candy. Without thinking, I plunged my hand down in my purse…and came up with a handful of my, um, personal items. He still teases me about it. (October/November ’12)

10. Lesson: If you’re not 100% sure it’s him, don’t leave an anonymous love note.

It was Christmas Eve and my family had a huge party. I have a crush on a family friend’s son, so I decided to write him an anonymous letter, saying he’s all I wanted for Christmas. I thought I heard him walk into the bathroom, so I slid the card under the door. I was very excited—until his dad came out a few minutes later, card in hand. (December/January ’14)

9. Lesson: Safety should always come first.

There was a free skate at the ice rink in town and I invited my friends to tag along. My dad forced me to bring a helmet but I didn’t really want to wear it since no one else was. While skating, we got really excited because we saw a really hot patrol guy come towards us. Turns out he was just coming to tell me my dad wanted me to buckle my helmet. Everyone heard! (December/January ’10)

8. Lesson: Even if you’re in a hurry, always beware of the bathroom signs.

My crush’s family and mine are very close. We went out to dinner one night, but the cuisine didn’t agree with me. I ran to the bathroom just before I exploded. No one was in there, so I let loose. When someone walked in, I stopped for a sec but figured stuff like this happens to everyone—they’d understand. When I walked out of the stall, I realized that I was in the men’s room. Even worse, my crush was washing his hands at the sink. He told everyone at the table about it! (August/September ’05)

7. Lesson: Never go swimsuit shopping in your sister’s closet.

I was at the beach on a class trip. I was trying to impress all the boys by wearing my sister’s two-piece bathing suit. Well when I went swimming, a big wave came and my bathing suit top fell right off. I started screaming, so the lifeguard thought I was drowning! He jumped in and dragged me back to shore. He didn’t realize that the only thing wrong with me was that I was topless! My whole class saw me. (June/July ’97)

6. Lesson: When in doubt, ask for clarification.

I had just moved to a new house and enrolled in a public school. The first day, I walked out to my bus stop. When I got on the bus, I noticed everyone was dressed the same so I figured there was a dress code and I just hadn’t gotten a uniform yet. I took a seat, and everyone stared at me. When we pulled up to a private school, I knew I was on the wrong bus. I had to call my mom to come get me. (August/September ’03)

5. Lesson: Double check the contact before hitting “send” on a text.

One day, I was texting my crush and BFF at the same time. Thinking I was responding to my bud, I said "I have really bad cramps! Any suggestions?" When I got a text back saying, "I’m not sure, but I could ask my mom what to do, if you want." I could’ve died. (February/March ’12)

4. Lesson: Check yourself before leaving the bathroom!

I was on a first date at a restaurant and went to the bathroom. When I came back, my date started to lean across the table. Thinking he was going to kiss me, I closed my eyes and puckered my lips. Just as he got to my face, he whispered, "I think your dress is tucked into your underwear.” So embarrassing! (June/July ’12)

3. Lesson: Grab your laundry before your shower.

It was my birthday, and my friend and I were going to watch movies at my house. No one was home, so after my shower I ran downstairs to grab a shirt out of the dryer. Turns out, my friend was throwing me a surprise party. Most of the ninth grade was waiting for me downstairs. I was so startled I slipped on the stairs—and my towel fell off! (August/September ’97)

2. Lesson: It might not seem like it, but parents have the best of intentions.

My crush and I both have braces. We were making out in his basement one day when I noticed a bell on the table by the couch. When I asked why it was there, he replied, “My mom put it there in case we ever get stuck together.” So. Embarrassing. (June/July ’13)

1. Lesson: When your sister asks an awkward Q, enlist help from Mom.

A month before Christmas, my 5-year-old sister found my maxi-pads under the bathroom sink. She asked what the napkins under the counter were for, and I said they were for special occasions. That Christmas, my sister put pads all over the table when she set it. I had to explain to everyone why she did it. (December/January ’02)