CRUSHES

When my crush asked me to be his girlfriend, I felt like life couldn't be more perfect. For three months, we texted every single day and night. We went on dates together and he took me to winter formal. My friends would always tell me that I was so lucky and that my relationship was #goals. 

Then, it all came crashing down. Over spring break, I was on vacation with my family two hours away. I could feel my boyfriend pulling away and acting more distant in his texts. It didn't feel the same. When I got back and confronted him, he told me he just didn't like me like that anymore. He wanted to end our relationship. A few weeks later, he started dating somebody else.

I had never been more heartbroken in my entire life. I didn't expect to be dumped and I kept replaying every moment of our relationship in my head, wondering where I went wrong. I wished there was something I could do to make him like me again. I thought about him constantly. I had trusted him with a lot, and I felt totally betrayed. The worst part? Even though I was so angry at him, I knew I would take him back if he asked.

I felt really lonely and even cried myself to sleep some nights. But here's the thing: Without him to text, I started to realize how much free time I had. I put more effort into my homework, and my grades got higher. I joined the student council and decided to put my efforts into running for class treasurer. Most of all, I felt like I had a lot of time and energy to give to my friends.

On the outside, it looked like my relationship was perfect, but I started to realize how draining it had become. The best partner makes you the best version of yourself and encourages you to reach your goals. While my BF and I cared about each other, we were investing everything we had into the relationship. I realized I hadn't even made summer plans because I was only counting on spending time with him. Now, it felt like the world was full of opportunities.

Little by little, I started to think about him less. My friendships got stronger, I had time to devote to my hobbies and I felt more confident than ever. 

I hope to have another relationship someday (and, let's be real, I've *def* had other crushes since). But I know that it's more than cute winter formal pics and holding hands in front of our friends. It's about finding someone who makes me feel like myself. I don't regret opening my heart and trusting someone, even if it didn't work out. It has made me stronger and more comfortable in my own skin.

At the end of the day, my heartbreak was so worth it because it made me who I am now. And I can't help but be thankful for that.

What have you learned from heartbreak?

by GL Girl | 1/29/2020