CRUSHES

You’ve been great friends with someone for a while and suddenly you find yourself thinking: “Do I like this person as more than a friend?” It’s pretty common to develop feelings for someone who’s your friend first—you get to know each other well, spend a lot of time together and have tons of fun. But are you better off as friends or should you try dating each other? Here are some questions to consider before going from friendship to relationship.

Do you view this person as more than a friend?
You’re probably thinking, “well, duh.” But think about it a little more—do you truly like this person, or are you tired of being single and think your friend is pretty cool? When you want to be in a relationship, it might be easy to confuse romantic feelings with friendly feelings because you’re searching for romance. You should date someone because you really, truly like that person, not because you just want to be in a relationship.

How will it impact your friend group?
OK, now you’re pretty sure you have feelings for this person. Are the two of you part of the same friend group? How do you think your other friends would feel? This shouldn’t have a major impact on your decision, but it’s something to think about. Are you prepared to deal with any awkwardness in your friend group? Will the two of you *always* be around each other and are you OK with that?

Do you see the relationship working out?
Obviously this is impossible to predict for sure, but you can take a guess based on what you know about yourself and your friend. Just because you’re great friends doesn’t mean you’d be a good couple. Are you prepared to deal with all of this person’s quirks? When someone is just your friend, you might be more likely to shrug off or laugh at some of their annoying traits. If you’re dating, those traits could seriously bug you. Taking forever to text back is OK if he’s your BGF but you might be annoyed by it if he becomes your BF.

Are you willing to risk your friendship?
Ideally, if you broke up, you could still be friends—but sometimes that’s tough. It’s impossible to predict exactly what will happen in your relationship. The truth is, moving from a friendship to a relationship comes with the risk of possibly ruining your friendship. Are you prepared for this possibility?

Overall, there are some serious advantages of dating someone who’s your friend first. You already know each other well and can count on each other. It's up to you and your friend to decide if you think going from friendship to relationship is worth trying.

Have you ever dated someone who was your friend first? Let us know in the comments.

by Paige Sheffield | 11/11/2018