CRUSHES

There's no doubt your new boo is amazing, but lately, he’s been getting a little bit… well, a little bit clingy. You’re getting about a zillion texts a day and you can barely go anywhere without him tagging along. It’s only natural for your sweetie to want to spend time with you (you are, after all, completely fab) but a girl’s gotta have her space! Before you freak or call it quits, read on for our advice on how to deal with a clingy guy. 

Be Miss. Independent.

Schedule solo activities and group plans sans guys so you can have a bit of a break from your bae. Go for a bike ride or attend a yoga class alone. Have a movie night in or day out with your girl squad. In the meantime, your guy may fill his time with activities of his own. It’s healthy and good for you and your guy to have independent lives, interests and friends, even if you two have tons in common and like to spend time together.

Don’t give him the cold shoulder.

While you’re off being Miss Independent, make sure you’re not completely icing your dude out of your life. It’s all about achieving a balance, chica. If you rarely go on dates with your guy and are always out with friends, your boo may be feeling neglected and acting super clingy as a result. So give him your full attention when you hang out and try to devote equal time to him, your friends and yourself.

Analyze and assess.

Is your guy being more controlling than he is clingy? This is an important question to answer. Does he get jealous and angry when you hang out with other people or try to make you feel guilty for spending time with your fam? Does he lash out if he sees you talking to other guys? Does he get upset if he doesn’t know where you are at all hours of the day? If you answered yes to any of those questions, your guy may be exhibiting signs of an abusive partner. If that's a case, talk to an adult you trust about your relationship. Being clingy on the other hand, may look different. Your guy may text you multiple times a day asking if you have time to talk, come with you to all of your events and constantly ask if you’re free to hang out, but would not try to control your actions or who you spend time with.

Figure out your feelings.

Before you head straight to splitsville, it’s a good idea to determine what you want. Are you overwhelmed or annoyed by constant contact with your guy? Do you simply want more independence or do you want to be completely left alone? If the latter options are your answers, your guy may be clingy, but you should also recognize that your feelings for him may have changed. Maybe being in a relationship is not for you at this point or you realize you like this person just as a friend. It’s totally okay and natural for feelings to change. However, if you still really like your guy, then consider having a talk before proceeding with your relationship.

Come clean.

You may want to have a heart-to-heart about your guy’s behavior if he is overbearing with his attention and doesn’t seem to have interests of his own. The key here is to be as kind as possible, while still communicating effectively. You can ask him, “Is everything okay between us? I feel like you’ve been acting differently lately.” Then he would have a chance to explain what’s going on in his head and you can let him know that his clinginess is bugging you. Or you can say something like, “I really like you and I love spending time with you but my friends have been feeling a bit neglected lately.” That would give you a chance to have more space without hurting his feelings. Remember to be respectful and honest. We’re rooting for you!

How do you deal with a clingy guy? Let us know in the comments!

by Morgan Ome | 7/13/2016