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Advice

Break-up then make-up: Rebuilding trust


I recently started dating this guy that I really like. We dated last year, but ended on a rather unhappy note. Now that we are back together, I can't help but notice a difference in the way he acts with me. Before, he used to always be very open about telling me how he felt for me, but now he hardly shares his feelings like that. I was just wondering if maybe there was a reason he is acting like this, or if I'm just imagining things.

First off, girlie, you gotta lay everything out in front of you before you dive in head-first and start thinking too much into it. What exactly were the circumstances last time: Did he break up with you? Did you break up with him? What were the reasons? Get the facts out in the open, as our minds have a tendency to rewrite history. The worst thing you can do when you're trying to tackle a problem is over-think it.

You say you've dated him in the past, right?  If you were the one to end the relationship, he may have some lingering doubts from the last time you two were together.  Chances are, he feels like he did something wrong last time and now he's on edge trying to make sure not to do anything for fear of getting the same bad reaction from you.  Think about it for a sec. If you were him, second time around, wouldn't you be super cautious?

If that's not the case, it's also possible that other things may be going on his life, things that don't involve any problems with your relationship. Boys act strange sometimes.  Actually, even we girls are guilty of that, too. We all have several different elements of our life: school, work, sticky sitches with friends, trouble with the parentals, etc.

Your best bet, babe, is to talk to him about it.  Go up to him and tell him you’ve noticed he’s been less forthcoming this time around and ask if something's wrong.  He may be rather confused or caught off-guard at first, so explain to him the signals you’ve been noticing. Communication is key. Good luck!

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by Jordan Sarnovsky | 2/1/2016
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