One day, I was swimming with my BFF and her bro, when her brother’s super-hot friend came walking down the street. He shouted, “Hey, dude, dude’s sis, unknown girl.” So introduced myself. He just said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” and went inside to get a coke.

When he came back out, he reached down to grab something, acting like it was a potato chip, then turned and shoved a huge beetle down my bikini top! To make it worse, if that’s possible, he yelled, “Well, at least now you don’t have to use paper to stuff your bathing suit!”

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