LIFE

Picture this: you're scrolling through Insta stories on a Saturday afternoon. You see countless posts of besties and friend groups spending their free time together, filming TikToks and having photoshoots. A pit forms in your stomach. 

Why don't I have that? 

It's totally OK to not have a friend group of your own. In fact, it's normal to be in between friend groups for a period of time. We've coined the term FOMO-HAFG (fear of missing out on having a friend group) to describe this feeling.

Let's face it—not everyone has a large friend group to fall back on. We promise, GL girl, you don't need to have a designated friend group to be social and happy. Whether you're beginning high school and meeting new classmates, your friends are in a different lunch period than you or you’re simply in between friend groups, it's totally OK. 

Good friends > friend groups

Friend groups are what one might describe as the "peak of friendships." They provide a sense of security (and sometimes boost your ego). Having multiple besties ensures that you will always have someone to call when you're feeling down or to hang out with when you're free. Everyone likes feeling safe and confident! Whether you're walking to class alone or staying in on Friday nights, it's normal to feel anxiety around the societal pressure of "friend groups."

The idea of an ever-lasting "friend group" appears in almost every teen-coming-of-age movie. The number of friends a person has is irrelevant to who they actually are—popularity is superficial.

If you've ever seen Mean Girls then you know what we mean. Cady had two friends groups—"the Plastics" and the outcasts—but it all came crashing down when she betrayed them. Although she redeemed herself by the end of the movie, she is a prime example of a good friend gone wrong. 

Stay away from the drama, and focus on developing meaningful friendships. Good friends that care about you are signs of good connections. Having quality relationships makes for a quality life! 

Branch out to new besties

A bump in the friendship road might be your sign to branch out. Floating around from one friend group to the next will allow you to connect with new people and meet those with a similar style, a sense of humor, and priorities. 

Seek out social opportunities at school, such as volunteering or joining a new club. The only way to make new friends is to put yourself out there. Exposing yourself to multiple groups of friends opens doors to more opportunities for fun experiences and adventures! 

Additionally, being in between friend groups can be lonely at times. Do not isolate yourself. Remember to reach out to the friends you already have and continue to pursue individual friendships with others. 

You've got time, girl!

Throughout our lives, and especially during high school, friendships will ebb and flow. You will create unlikely friendships and cut off relationships you once thought would never end.

Remember: we are forever changing. What we enjoy today might bore us in a year, or your current favorite song might make your future self cringe. Everyone grows and changes, so your current best friends might even become acquaintances further down the road.

Don't let it scare you—there will always be that childhood friend you simply *cannot* live without, your life-long summer camp bestie or that family-member-turned-best-friend. Realistically, you cannot maintain *all* of the same friendships throughout your entire lifetime, but what matters is caring for the friends you have now, taking opportunities to connect with those around you and building your very own social circle (whatever that may look like!). 

If you feel societal pressure to be more social, take a deep breath and put your situation into perspective. What friends do you already have? Who would you like to meet? What kind of friend do you want to be? This is only a moment in time. 

Slider image @iovejacey I GIFs via GIPHY 

Tell us your most memorable bestie moments on IG @girlslifemag!

by Cara Lamina | 12/1/2021