LIFE

There’s no question you’re an amazing friend, right? You threw your girl a killer surprise bash for her 13th and always know her secret crush. But sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own crazed life and let your sisterhood slip. Keep reading to find out if you’re still following the golden rules of friendship…or if you need to step up your game to be a better bud.

Rule #1: You know what's going on inside her head 
As a true bud, you know your BFF so well you can sniff out a bad day even if she’s pretending things are just fine. Maybe it’s something in her eyes or the way she’s acting a bit distant, but if you’re sensing something’s off? You check in to make sure things are A-OK, straightaway. It could be that she’s distracted by her upcoming history presentation. Or she’s miffed about her mom not letting her go to that party on Saturday night. But chances are, you know she’s stressing before she even has to say “ugh.”

Rule #2: You remember what's important to her 
In certain cases, best friends are total twinsies: same classes, same extracurriculars, same social circles. But for friends who don’t share a brain and a band schedule, it’s crucial to be clued in to—and support—each other. That means listening when she’s giving you the play-by-play on her softball game—and cheering loudest from the bleachers when she takes the team to the state finals. And the support goes both ways: When you’re running for class prez? She’ll be the first to help you paint campaign posters.

Rule #3: You understand that friendship needs a bit of balance
Bestiehood is a two-way street, and it’s not OK to let one-half of a twosome do all the organizing, the advice-giving or the sleepover-hosting. If you’re the one who’s been lax, be confident that you, too, can be an A-plus hostess or plan a fun-filled Friday night. While your girl may never complain she’s the one who has to initiate every adventure, she’ll be secretly stoked when you hold up your half of the friendship bridge.

Rule #4: You keep her secrets when she spills
When it comes to your girl, you know to listen to what she says and stash it away with lock and key. (Sure, there are exceptions—like if she’s hurting and needs help or something serious is happening, when an adult should really step in.) But if she reveals her doc gave her a tough diagnosis or she has hit a rough patch with her GF, you’re not tempted to tell anyone else. Not even in a tricky way, where you cover up her true ID or pass along that you heard “someone” is dealing with whatever. Gossip? Not your style.

Rule #5: You're genuinely happy when she's happy
It isn’t easy when the sun’s always shining on your friend. When your bestie is the one who snags the top grades, earns the prime spots on the sports teams and has a cute +1, it’s hard to keep jealousy at bay. But don’t be overcome with envy or suffer from sidekick syndrome (when you feel like everything you do is less awesome than what she does). When you’re happy for her, it’s a reflection of your own cool confidence. And guess what? She might not say it, but she’s probably amazed at how you nail every note in chorus, have read the entire works of Jane Austen and always know the hottest bands before everyone else. Duh—your unique attributes are why she’s friends with you in the first place.

Rule #6: You're absolutely there when she needs you 
As a best bud, you understand when your girl is going through something major. Whether she’s struggling with an eating disorder or her parents are in the midst of a divorce, you’ll be there—no ifs, ands or buts about it. Even if she seems like she doesn’t need support, head over to her house with a bunch of daisies and your phone on silent. Your BFF might have a million friends...but if her life’s hit a rough patch, she can count on you. The truth is, some of the brightest friendships are forged during the darkest times.

What's your secret to being the best bestie ever? Share in the comments!

by GL | 5/10/2019