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Advice
"Calling my boyfriend scares me—is that normal?"
Dear Carol,
I have a hard time calling my boyfriend because I have no idea what to say. Last time I called him, my friends were there and they started teasing me and saying lots of stupid stuff out loud. I got totally embarrassed and told him I’d call him back. Then when I did, he had turned off his phone! How can I stop getting so scared to call him? It's really stressing me out!
–Scardey Caller
Dear Scardey Caller,
Having a boyfriend is supposed to be fun, not scary or embarrassing. I think the problem isn't so much that you’re afraid to call this guy, but that he may not be the most ideal BF for you—or maybe you’re just not 100% ready to have a BF quite yet. Which is totally fine! You'd be better off focusing on people you feel comfortable talking to rather than feeling stuck in a relationship that makes you nervous instead of happy. But here are some phone tips whenever you do feel ready.
Next time you call a guy, don't make it a spectator sport with friends cheering and jeering from the sidelines. Call when you're alone. And if a guy is silent on his end or, worse, hangs up on you, don't tell yourself, "Never give up!" and keep on dialing. Just consider that this match isn't meant to be, that life is long, and that there are a billion other boys on the planet. Then find your pride and move on.
As for your question about what to talk about in the first place, I have a confession. Years ago, before I called my first boyfriend, I'd sometimes prepare a list of subjects. That way, if there was a lull in the conversation, I could ask about his summer job or lacrosse game…or I could tell him about visiting a college with my big brother…or give my opinion of a movie I just saw…or tell him a funny babysitting story…or tell him that my best friend's cousin's poodle was paired with a pekinese and just had the cutest litter of peekapoo puppies. . . (You get the idea!)
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page. To order Carol's newest book, Speed of Life, click here.
POSTED IN how to get a BF, boyfriend Q & A
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