CRUSHES

Red flags in relationships are *super* important to watch out for. Relationships can be so hard to navigate, so knowing how to spot a red flag is crucial to staying true to yourself. Commonly mentioned red flags include bad communication or dishonesty. On a funny note, there are whole TikTok accounts dedicated to "icks," which are ridiculous made-up scenarios that lead a girl to lose interest in their crush. And I mean, they never fail to crack me up.

@ichbinvin

beef n cheddar pls #icks

♬ EL PEPE REMIX - Rorrovidios

Throughout my bae-related experiences, I've made a few observations that have led me to compile this list of red flags, which are kind of my own icks. These are all things I wished someone would've told me. But, they didn't, and that's why I'm here to tell you. You're welcome. 

1. When they kiss you while you're in the middle of a sentence

Okay, it's about time someone brought this up. This is not cute. I know you're thinking of the classic 2000s teen movie trope: girl mad at boy, girl yells at boy, boy kisses girl when she's in the middle of yelling, happily ever after. I promise though, it's really just awkward. This action translates to, I really don't care what you're talking about, which is not the level of respect you deserve. Also, bae, just be patient!

2. When they don't listen to any female artists

Have you ever looked at your bae's Spotify library only to find that the artist list is just man after man after man? Where are all the women?! They're listening to Drake and J. Cole but can't pepper some Nicki Minaj or Taylor Swift in there? Make it make sense. Not listening to female artists directly correlates with having bad taste and we don't tolerate bad taste in this house!

3. When they want to keep you a secret

Sometimes, especially with "situationships" where the label isn't really defined, your bae (or whoever they might be to you) might want to keep your situation a secret. Don't get me wrong, it's totally fine to keep things on the DL if that's what you want, but if they're trying really hard to keep things secretive, and become upset at the prospect of people finding out, it's a bit of a red flag. Things can get complicated, but a great rule of thumb is this: If it doesn't feel right to you, it isn't right at all. Trust your instincts and remember that you deserve respect in any and all situations. 

4. When they speak lowly of themselves for you to compliment them

"I'm so ugly," "Why do you even like me," blah blah blah. Enough. If your bae asks for sympathy from you in the form of self-depreciation, run, don't walk, in the other direction. Not only is this a sign of immaturity because they need constant validation from you, but it also shows that they aren't upfront and honest with their communication. If they feel insecure, they could talk to you about their feelings in a mature way without putting themselves down. Watch out for these people...you don't need that negativity in your life. 

5. When the conversation is just ~bleh~

Some people vibe, some people don't. It's just how the world works. If you don't really enjoy your time or conversations with them, they're probably not the one for you. Don't force a relationship you don't want to be in and don't enjoy. Always go with your gut, and always communicate what you want.

In general, how you can spot a red flag is by following your instincts. If your bae does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it's important to honor that emotion. When in doubt, you can *always* refer to our list for help!

Have any random red flags you want to share? Tag us in your responses @girlslifemag!

by Ari Sheinberg | 5/26/2021