CRUSHES

There’s no denying it. Certain guys are totally hot…yet absolutely, positively off-limits. Sure, Justin Timberlake (or the head cheerleader’s dude) might be unattainable, but that doesn’t make him any less irresistible. Still, why do we set ourselves up for a fall?

Some girls don’t really want a boyfriend. All your BFF talks about is her awesome dude, so you think having a crush is the way to go? Maybe, deep down, you know you’re not really ready to have a guy so you subconsciously happen to like boys who are unattainable.

Sometimes fantasy is easier to deal with than reality. You can fantasize to your heart’s content, but you’ll probably never really know what it’d be like if you and Dream Boy got together. He’ll forever remain the “perfect” BF. He’ll never show up late, hurt your feelings, reject you or let you down in any way.

The downside. With an off-limits guy, you get the adrenaline rush of a major crush without having to deal with the responsibilities of, gulp, dating. But you’re also guaranteed zero kisses, no sweet e-mails, zippo puppy love stuff. See? A real-life relationship does have its perks. Memorize our list of Off-Limits Guys and learn to nix those go-nowhere crushes!

SO-OVER-IT EX • Been there, done that. Granted, your ex looks great with his new contacts and everyone is swooning since he scored the winning goal in last night’s soccer game. But wait—you know getting back with your ex would not work. Maybe he has a new GF, he’s the one who dumped you or you’re just plain wrong for each other. Crushing on an ex is almost always a no-win sitch.

EEK! YOUR BFF’S BROTHER? • OK. He is a cutie, and you spend tons of time around him since you and your BFF are inseparable. But friend’s brothers are bad-news crushes. Even if you get together with your BFF’s hunky bro, the risk of losing your bud skyrockets! You might exclude her to be with him. You could break his heart and lose your BFF in the process (blood can be thicker than buds). Or if things go kaput, you’re forced to confront an ex every time you visit your friend’s house! Appreciate what you already have—an awesome best friend with a cute brother.

BEAUTIFUL STRANGER • If you find yourself seriously crushed on some hot guy neither you nor your friends know anything about, beware! You’re judging this guy completely on his looks. And how superficial is that? You’re giving Mystery Boy qualities he might not even have—romantic, deep, thoughtful. And he’s never even batted an eyelash at you! Tread carefully. The real deal could be a heck of a lot less charming.       

ALREADY-SPOKEN-FOR GUY • This is the most ridiculous crush you can have. Why? Because he’s T-A-K-E-N! (Must we spell it out?) You can’t get a guy who is already in luv, so a crush on him will leave you achin’. Sure, you could plot to sabotage the guy’s relationship, but you’ll definitely end up looking like a total jerk! So save face, and give him his space.

YOUR BFF’S CRUSH! • Yikes. We smell trouble! When you drool over the same dude your best friend digs, you’re putting yourself in direct competition with someone you care about. What is more important to you—friendship or an attraction to the guy your BFF can’t stop yammering about? Remember, BFs come and go, but best friends are forever! Is he worth it? Didn’t think so.

It’s natural to want what you can’t have. But there’s a gettable guy just waiting to be gotten by you! Promise.

-Sandy Fertman Ryan

1/16/2010 12:00:00 AM