CRUSHES

When you go through a tough break-up, find out your crush wasn’t crushing back or that your ex has started seeing someone else, everyone wants to throw advice at you—as if anything they say could possibly change the fact that your world has just been turned upside down.

“It’ll be fine,” your dad says. "You're better off," your BFF tells you. "Healing takes time," adds your mom.

Yes, we know it’ll take time to get over it and, while well-intentioned, words don't exactly help because right now everything is just plain awful.

Though there's no fast forward button for life, there *are* plenty of little, everyday things you can do to make the healing process a bit more bearable. In fact, there's nine.

1. Write down a list of your strengths. Often, what really hurts about a heartbreak is that you start to doubt how incredible you are. To combat that, write down everything you really admire about yourself. Get really detailed! Everything from liking your hair to appreciating how opinionated you are needs to be put in writing. Keep adding to it every time you’re feeling less than great. Soon enough, you’ll remember how awesome you are.

2. Get rid of those expectations. Don’t kick yourself because Jenny got over her ex in two weeks and is already chatting with the cutie that sits behind her in Spanish class. It doesn’t matter how quickly your friends got over their heartbreaks, because everyone is different. Heal at your own pace.

3. Keep a happiness journal. Everyday, write down something that happened that makes you feel happy or hopeful. Then, when you’re feeling down in the dumps, you can flip through it and remind yourself to smile. 

4. Fake it 'til you make it. Research has shown that you might create happiness in your brain just by smiling! So why not try it out? Next time you're struck with sadness over the crush who crushed you, just try to give a little grin.

5. Create a safe space. If your ex or former crush is in your friend group and/or you still have to see him regularly, try to hang out with people who don’t invite him everywhere. We're not saying that you should isolate yourself from your friends or force them to take sides, but creating some distance for yourself to breathe away from him is a vital step to healing.

6. Volunteer. Focusing on other people who need help will absolutely distract you and put your situation in perspective. It’ll make you feel good to know you’re making someone’s day better, too. Help out at a soup kitchen, donate old clothes, bring old toys to a children’s hospital or walk in an event like Relay for Life. You’ll feel a lot better after you do!

7. Exercise! Go for a run, hop on the bike or put your all into your next soccer practice. You’ll feel completely refreshed after channeling your energy in a positive way and sweating out those feelings.

8. Write it out. You might have found that before all of this, you were never great at stringing your words together enough to write poetry or stories. Now, with your emotions boiling over, writing might come easier. So sit down, let your thoughts fly and write out everything that's going on in your head. When you read it over afterwards, you’ll probably surprise yourself at how beautiful it is...or it will just be a jumbled mess. Either way, it's another positive way to channel your thoughts and feelings.

9. Take a day trip. Visit a museum. Go skiing. Visit your friend from camp who lives a few hours away. Make plans for yourself to leave your house and do something different, either with friends or on your own. It’ll get you out of your own head and give you something to look forward to again. 

What do you do to get over a broken heart? Tell us in the comments!

by Amy Garcia | 1/26/2018