Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, I was too honest with my BFF and now she's not speaking to me"

Dear Carol,

My past best friend has been there for me through some tough times, but it’s changed over the past couple years. She got controlling on who I spent time with and, if she didn’t like it, she’d talk to my sister about it, not to me. A month ago, I was completely honest—maybe too honest—about how that was affecting me. Ever since, she’s been ghosting me on text and in person. I said I was sorry if I hurt her, because I wanted to mend our friendship. She completely brushed off my apology. Is this friendship worth attempting to save?

- Confused

Dear Confused,

It’s hard when friendships shift, but it’s absolutely normal and common. You’re growing in different ways, and you might not see eye-to-eye the way you did when you were younger. Lately she’s been controlling and is brushing you off—so, yes, why not step back a bit? Think of it as setting yourself free, not as breaking up. Stay respectful, sure, but don’t try so hard to hold on. Better to spend your social energy on other friends.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life, her novel (and audiobook) about a 14-year-old girl who writes to an advice columnist. Learn more at, and follow her on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

In need of some bestie advice? Read more Dear Carol here:
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by GL | 2/4/2024