Dear Carol: “I lost my mom and I’m a mess"
I lost my mom last year and it’s still painful. I was at a friend’s house and when “Supermarket Flowers” by Ed Sheeran played in the background, I literally fell into pieces. A lot of friends were there to witness it. I don’t know if I should feel embarrassed or what. Whenever people ask how I’m doing, I do my best to seem OK, but on the inside, I have a big lump in my throat and my eyes just start getting watery.
Of course, you’re still sad! Your mom died quite recently. Many girls have written me over the past 25 years to say, “My mom died and I’m still not over it”—as though it’s the sort of thing one can or should quickly get over. You can’t rush grief, so go easy on yourself, OK? It’s fine to sometimes cry in public—but seek out a counselor if you’re finding it hard to get through the day. As for your loss, you’ll never forget your mom, but you will feel lighter soon, and she would want you to.
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