LIFE

Dear Carol,

My father died when I was 10 (I’m 14), so it has been only my mother and I for over three years. Now she’s dating this guy who was her neighbor growing up. I’ve known him for six months, and they’re constantly talking about getting married and moving three hours from where I’ve lived all my life. I get that they’re ready...but I’m not!

- Mom's Boyfriend

Dear Mom’s Boyfriend,
I’m so sorry that your father died when you were so young. That is very hard. I lost my dad too soon too, and the sad truth is that you will never wake up one day and think, “I’m over it.” No. A part of you may always miss your missing parent. But here’s the good news: You’ve already done the hard work of surviving those first years without him, and I bet you are wiser and more compassionate than most kids your age. What now? You don’t feel ready for a giant change—and I don’t blame you—but try to remember that your mom also has been heartsick. It’s good that she found love again...though she, like you, will never forget your dad. Change is difficult, but sometimes inevitable, and the new neighborhood may be better than you think. In a few years, you may be off to college—and glad that your mom will not be by herself.

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by Dear Carol | 6/9/2018