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Dear Carol

My sensitive friend can't handle the truth. What should I do?

Dear Carol,
I am writing about a friend problem. Lately it has been very hard to tell the truth to her. Why? Because she is very sensitive. For example, she asked if I wanted to have a sleepover. I said, “Not tonight because I am really tired—how about tomorrow night?” Then she gave me the silent treatment and said, “Seems like you just don’t want to hang out with me.” So I had to lie and say my mom said no, and then she said that my mom’s really strict and doesn’t let me do anything. Please help me find the right words to tell her without hurting her. 
—Friend in Need

Dear Friend in Need,
Say, “I really care about our friendship so I’m going to tell you five things I like about you and one thing I don’t.” Then tell her five great compliments (she’s funny and loyal and knows the words to all the Beatles songs…) and add that you wish she wouldn’t give you such a hard time when you don’t want to make a plan. Say, “For instance, when I was too tired for that sleepover, that was about me, not you, and it would have been easier if you didn't take things so personally.” I hope she can develop more confidence soon because when one friend is insecure and moody, it can be hard on the other.

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by Carol Weston | 2/19/2019
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