CRUSHES

All relationships have rough patches, and you will likely fight with your bae at some point. But how do you know whether the issues you are going through are minor obstacles or big red flags indicating a potentially toxic situation?

Sometimes you might be tempted to stay in a relationship that isn't healthy because you don't recognize the problem, or maybe you don't want to face the sadness of a breakup. 

But there are definitely times when the best decision for you is to call it quits. Here are a few warning signs that you should walk away from a relationship if it's heading down a negative path. 

1. You aren't being valued or respected. 

Maybe your bae isn't responding to your texts as quickly as they used to, or stops caring when you get upset about something and try to communicate your feelings.

If nothing changes after you've addressed the situations where you feel like your partner isn't putting in the effort to make you feel appreciated, it's time to find someone else who will meet your emotional needs.

You deserve to be with someone whose eyes light up whenever they see you and who never stops trying to make you happy. If your bae doesn't want to do those things after being in a relationship for a while then they are not the right one for you.

2. The relationship makes you feel bad about yourself.  

If your partner is making comments about your clothing, body, way of talking or personality that make you feel self-conscious, you should definitely consider ending the relationship.

The whole point of dating someone is to be happy when you spend time with them, and if you are constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing then it is not worth it to continue the relationship. Don't allow anyone to change who you are, but instead be with someone who understands and accepts all of your quirks and personality traits. 

3. Your bae tries to isolate you from friends or family. 

This is a big one: Sometimes, your partner might try to be the only important thing in your life by encouraging you to distance yourself from others. While there is nothing wrong with making your relationship a priority, this can quickly become controlling and deteriorate a once-healthy relationship.

If you aren't "allowed" to go to the mall with your besties or skip date night to watch a movie with Dad every once and a while because it would make your partner angry, you should probably say goodbye and focus on the people who genuinely support you and want you to be happy. 

4. They cross a line. 

Setting boundaries in a new relationship can be very important for its longevity, and any physical or emotional limits that you want to put in place should be respected by your partner.

Forgiveness is also a part of a relationship, but if bae blatantly ignores something you have communicated as an important boundary you should consider ending things. Remember, the right person will never try to change your mind about the expectations you set — but will always treat you well according to those expectations. 

If bae tries to make you do something that you aren't ready for or says something unforgivable to you, don't be afraid to walk away from the relationship. 

If you or a friend is in a relationship where these situations are regularly occurring, consider ending that relationship before things become extremely toxic. Have the tough conversations with those around you to explain your point of view, and realize that saying "no" and ending things on your own terms is not a bad thing when you are being treated poorly. 

If you think you or a friend are in an abusive relationship, there are resources to help you. One of the best places to learn about healthy teen relationships — and unhealthy ones — is loveisrespect.org. You can also call the Love is Respect  hotline at  1-866-331-9474 or text Loveis to 22522.

by Lexi Casazza | 9/14/2020