CRUSHES

"You can only use the computer for an hour today."

"Please don't text at the dinner table."

"No T.V. after 10 p.m.."

You've likely heard one or more of these phrases from your parents recently. They, unfortunately, have a habit of enforcing rules like these. But, as it turns out, that just may be for the best.

Believe it or not, a recent study from the Journal of Research on Adolescence, found that teens who spend more time communicating with their boyfriends or girlfriends via technology have a harder time communicating and managing conflict in person. We know what you’re thinking… Has technology really made that big of an impact? Sadly, yes, indeed it has.

Jacqueline Nesi, leading author of the study, explains that electronic communication makes relationships more impersonal for teens. Just think about all the texting and dating apps we use today: GroupMe, Bumble and even WhatsApp! When using any of these communication portals, you can’t see someone’s facial expressions or hear the tone in their voice, which Nesi says is crucial in developing conversation skills for adolescents.

The study also measured teen behavior in romantic relationships and researchers found exactly what one would expect: that higher online engagement is associated with lower relationship skills. So if you’ve been asking yourself why that cutie from chem who's texting your all the time hasn’t asked you out on a date in person, this might be the reason.

The researchers want technology-using teens to understand that not all internet and social media use is bad. There are just certain harmful and beneficial ways to use it. For example, talking to your crush about upcoming plans through FaceTime is much more beneficial than using Facebook Messenger. It’s that simple. Just be smart and remember to utilize your IRL social skills, girls!

Now if you’re feeling a little guilty about your own social media and technology use, don’t fret. Here are three tips to reboot tech-reliant relationships:

1. Ditch the impersonal apps.

Of course we’re not saying you have to do away with texting all together, but simply avoid mindless chatting on messaging apps and such. If you want to chat with your beau, call them instead! It’ll be much more satisfying to hear their laugh instead of reading that “LOL.”

2. Plan activities that don’t require technology.

Try hiking, bike-riding, getting brunch or even playing a board game together! Activities that require the two of you to communicate in person will allow you to grow together. You may even find something out about your crush that you didn’t know before.

3. Don’t fight your emotions.

You can’t hide behind your phone forever, so there's no time like the present to share your feelings with your sweetie. You should always let your boyfriend or girlfriend know how you feel about them, and hearing it in person will make them feel even better. Chances are you’ve already done this through text, so why not take that next step?

Will you make use of any of these tips to strengthen your relationships?

by Kristina Lee | 7/14/2016