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My BF and I always fight. Should we work it out or break up?
I need help and fast. My boyfriend and I always fight, but we love each other a lot and don’t want to break up. What should I do to solve the problem? We fight over the dumbest things, but we always get over it. Is that good?
Dear Boyfriend Fighter,
It’s good that you always get over it—not good that you always fight. Try changing your tone of voice to break the pattern. If he wants to watch Inception on DVD but you’ve both already seen it a zillion times, say, “I know you like that movie, but what else is there?” That will go over way better than, “No way! I’m sick of that movie, and you never let me pick.” Instead of fighting like siblings who can’t stand each other, take a step back and ask yourself, “If this were our first date, what would I say?” Then say that. And, sorry, but I have to ask: Are you absolutely sure you two don’t want to break up? It takes two to make or break a relationship, and all the changing in the world on your part won’t make any difference if he’s not equally interested in getting along. The thought of ending it might seem scary but, then again, don’t you think there might be a more peaceful relationship out there for you—one with lots of talking and laughing, and not so much arguing and fighting?
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