LIFE

Whether they are our friends, significant other or family, people act as mirrors in our lives revealing truths about ourselves we otherwise wouldn’t have discovered had we not had those certain experiences or encounters.

To regret a decision, experience or a person is to say you don’t quite like the person you are right now, in this moment. Every decision, every experience and every person you have ever met has all led to you being the person you are right now. Factually, there is no other you.

There have been pivotal moments in my life that have led me to become the person I am today. Once I reached this realization I told the people in my life that “I learned a lot about me through you.” Other people’s paths are not mine to follow. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to live our truth and that means being vulnerable and our most authentic selves. Being vulnerable may not feel comfortable at first because it feels like unfamiliar territory, but it is necessary for growth. Going through a tough sitch? Here's how to distinguish the good from the bad so you can pick yourself up and become an even better version of y-o-u.

Going through a break up
The good: you’ll have a better sense of what to look for and what to steer clear of in your next relationship. You learn your likes and dislikes, which is part of growing.
The bad: In the moment, it may feel like the worst feeling ever, but like the saying goes “time heals all wounds.”

A fight with your friend
The good: Depending on what is said during the fight and how it is handled afterwards reflects who the person really is, showing their true colors.
The bad: You and your friend may not speak to each other for a while, but if you can resolve the issue you'll know your friendship can withstand the test of time.

Failing an exam
The good: You don’t know you’re vulnerable until you fail. The good that comes out of this is that you learn what studying techniques do and don’t work for you.
The bad: You failed the exam and it affects your overall grade, but remember: This is not the end of the world! Your future is still bright even with this minor setback.

Getting stage freight during a presentation
The good: You realize that stage freight is a new obstacle you should try to overcome and once you overcome it, you’ll better for it.
The bad: You may feel totally embarrassed in the moment and that you won't be able to attempt it again, but you can and you will!

Trying something new for the first time and fearing judgment
The good: Remember the reason you wanted to try something new and embrace it. Stepping out of your comfort zone takes strength.
The bad: You may feel like people are staring at you and judging you, but sometimes it’s just our negative thoughts being amplified by assuming the worst.

Standing in our truth doesn’t mean all our insecurities go away in an instant. It means we recognize our insecurities and learn the root of them. Being authentic means embracing our flaws and insecurities; taking ownership also takes power away from anyone that tries to use them against us. That is the strength in standing in your truth. It’s saying yes I do have flaws and yes I do have insecurities, but I recognize them and I will work on being my best self.

That bad break-up you went through—embrace it. That argument you had that led to a fall out with a friend—embrace it and learn from it. Have no regrets, embrace the good and the bad, because all those experiences help shape who we are. Vulnerability is the root of joy, love and creativity. Own it.

by Chelsea Appiah | 4/17/2018