"Dear Carol, I'm totally lost and not confident"
I'm not funny, I'm not cool and I have this underlying suspicion that everyone who talks to me secretly hates me. I don't even know myself, so how do I show people who I am? Simple conversations are impossible for me because I'm always thinking, "Is this right?" "Do they like me?" or "I hope they don't think I'm annoying." My goal isn't to be "cool." It's to have a personality and to be comfortable talking to people without having a heart attack. I'm so lost, I don't even know my favorite color!
–Not Confident at All
Dear Not Confident at All,
Wow, don't be so hard on yourself. Lots of people don't have a favorite color. Many people doubt themselves in social situations, and you are at an age where you are just getting to know yourself. Make a few lists. What are four things you like about yourself? What are four movies you enjoyed? Four books? Four songs? If you could improve the world in four ways, what would it be? The more comfortable you get with who you are, the more comfortable others will be with you. Join an after school club or two, and if there's a school counselor, walk through that door. Time is on your side because kids tend to become kinder and less judmental as they get more comfortable and secure in themselves.
We want to hear from you! Go here to submit questions to Carol about every sticky sitch life throws at you.